Pickles & Dimes

Blocks away from home when I got into a car accident: 4

Number of lanes other driver crossed before T-boning me: 2

Seconds I had to react after seeing him out of the corner of my eye: .00000037

Pieces of car debris that showered over my car like a NASCAR-branded snow globe: 157

Pieces of debris that were from my car: 0

Swear words I said after impact: 3

Times other driver said, “I didn’t see you there”: 1

Times I said, “Well, I was RIGHT THERE”: 1

Times I wanted to say, “What the HELL, dude?!?”: 4

Times other driver made vague mentions of “not going through insurance”: 2

Number of seconds I waited after he drove away before I called my insurance company: 12

Date I discovered other driver’s insurance “lapsed”: January of 2011

Estimate to repair my car: $2,307

Amount of my deductible: $250

Approximate cost for rental car: $50

Times I’ve cracked my skull on the rental car door: 2

Minutes it took me to figure out how to dispense windshield wiper fluid: 37

Times I have used my car’s automatic starter this winter: 3

Days this week I could’ve used my car’s automatic starter if only it wasn’t still in the repair shop: 3

Times I happily reflected that my insurance company is going after the other driver to recoup their costs (including my deductible, which will be refunded to me): 17

Phone calls/messages I’ve received from other driver conveying his vague disappointment that I’m going through insurance: 3

Times I’ve believed that had I done that, the other driver would honor his assurance of paying for everything in a timely manner: 0

Times I don’t care what he wanted because I had the right of way, he hit me, he has no say in how I choose to do things and oh yeah, it’s against the law to NOT HAVE INSURANCE: 5

Amount my premium will go up: $0

Times I have been glad I have Liberty Mutual for my insurance company: 25

Hours until I can pick up my car and stop giving myself car door-induced concussions: 26

Have you guys ever had a stress dream? One of the “forgot to study for the big exam” variety that leaves you in a panic? Usually mine involves me pulling out giant, ragged sections of my teeth and gums, which is horrifying, but I’ll gladly take that over the dream I had last night.

Actually, there were four of them. FOUR. I’ve never been so glad to hear my alarm go off as I was this morning. Each dream had me feeling horrible and apologizing for my shortcomings as a human being. Being a bad friend: Sorry I missed your mom’s funeral! Being a bad student: Sorry I forgot about my swimming test (that I then failed because I was wearing clothes instead of a swimsuit)! Being a bad party guest: Sorry I broke your brand-new and extremely expensive camera! And the kicker, being a bad babysitter: Sorry I killed your child!

In that dream, another person and I were babysitting a little boy, about 18 months old. He was standing on a chair and I was showing him a cardboard box. Every time he’d see it, he’d happily slap his hands on it, laughing and smiling. I’d pull it away and then show it to him again so he could repeat his playful drumming. Back and forth we’d go – laughing and drumming and smiling. Only I pulled the box away, and in anticipation of reaching for it again, the boy lost his balance and suddenly leaned over the now-backless chair. And fell.

His head hit the edge of the table and then he landed headfirst on the floor: CrackCrack. The other person was gone. The boy’s eyes were cloudy. And even as I picked him up, begging, “Please start crying. Please start crying,” I knew he was dead.

Delightful, right? I still feel awful about it, and that was 10 hours ago.

What stress dreams have you had?

My newish haircut has many layers I don’t remember requesting, so it closely resembles a mullet if I don’t spend time on it, much to my lazy chagrin. As a result, I’ve been trying to curl it more often. The first time I did, it was HORRIBLE. Just awful. I could not have looked worse if I tried. I had no idea what went wrong, so I resorted to watching online tutorials — on how to curl my hair. Now it looks great until my stupid, fine, limp, straight hair decides it’s too weak to hold a curl, so even if I leave home feeling and looking good, I always return home defeated and disheveled:

We have a queen-sized bed and lately it’s been feeling a little cramped. I’ve even been waking up with numb body parts (today I woke up, got out of bed and almost fell to the floor because my entire left leg was asleep). I think maybe it has a little something to do with this:

I didn’t really make any resolutions this year, thanks to a recently discovered character flaw: If I write something down, I achieve it.

This might not seem like a flaw, but trust me, it is.

Last year I wrote down a bunch of things I wanted to do in a little book, each task accompanied by a charming little checkbox I could mark upon completion with a self-satisfied, “DONE.”

And that worked — for awhile. January 2011 blurred by in a flurry of New Year Productiveness. Call 401(k) dude: check. Make doctor’s appointment: check. Organize closets: Check. Back up computer files: CHECK.

But as I got rid of the easy, quick stuff, my list began to serve as less of a reminder of how I was kicking butt and more of how I was Failing To Do Things. I had written down tasks that couldn’t be performed until the weather warmed up or I had acquired large chunks of money or free time. So they just sat there on the list, bothering me with their unchecked-off-ness.

It got the point where I was stressing out over the things I couldn’t do. They were on the list — they must be achieved!

That’s going to change this year.

There are still things I want to accomplish, naturally. I’m just not going to document them and plan them down to every last detail. And I’m not going to feel the impending, self-imposed deadlines looming over me.

Basically, I’m going to spend less time planning and more time doing. And because I’m never going to have all the free time I keep waiting for, I’m going to do whatever I can each day to work toward my goals.

I’m taking a cue from Swistle’s drop in the bucket method.

Each day, I’m going to do one small thing.

For example, in 2012, I want to get fit.

So yesterday, I ran 4.35 miles.

One small thing.

I’ve been dithering over getting a wireless router for months. Today I finished researching my options and decided on which one to buy.

One small thing.

I need to go through my filing cabinet and shred all the pieces of unnecessary paper. Instead of doing it all in one miserable, dealing-with-a-teeny-paper-shredder swoop, I’m going to bring 2-3 folders into work (where we have a HUGE shredding bin) each day until I’m done.

One small thing.

I have a scarf that’s ¾ finished that I’ve been avoiding for weeks, waiting for the perfect afternoon of free time to finish it. That’s never going to happen. But if I do a few rows a night, I’ll be done in a week.

One small thing.

I want to eat better and be more mindful of what I’m putting on my plate.

Yesterday I had an apple with my sandwich instead of my usual chips.

One small thing.

I can accomplish so many things if I stop focusing on ALL the things that need to be done and just start with one small thing.

So here’s to a big 2012.