“You’re right, buddy,” I tell him. “Let’s go back inside. It’s effing cold out.”

So, here’s another last-minute masthead I did, after weeks of laboring over another masthead that ended up looking like a two-fingered, cross-eyed zebra designed it. And do you know where I got the creative inspiration for this?

Buffalo Wild Wings. Yeah, some people’s muse is music or art or poetry. Mine is spicy garlic wings and a UFC fight in the background.

While we were there, I thought of no less than five masthead ideas. If I had a laptop, I would set up shop in one of their restaurants and produce the next great literary novel.

But since I don’t, the world will have to be content with my clip art masterpieces (using the word “masterpieces” very loosely, of course).

Happy 2009!

Tonight, we’re going out to eat somewhere and then popping open some champagne at either midnight or 9:30, depending on how tired we are. Whee!

For fun, here are some of my favorite posts from 2008. Enjoy!

January: The one where Jason made me bleed

February: The one where we acted like 8-year-olds

March: The one with the naughty mushrooms

April: The one where Jason gets a toothpick in his knee

May: The one with the stalker cardinal. (By the way, this bird is still doing this to Jason’s parents!)

June: The one where the week never ended

July: The one with the mustachioed cats

August: The one where we add to our nutty family

September: The one with the little things that make me happy

October: The one with the quarter-hoarding rednecks

November: The one where Jason thought I was the dog

December: The one with the death-desiring squirrel

We played Pictionary at my aunt’s and the boys totally kicked the girls’ butts. It was ridiculous. For example, here is an artist’s rendering of what my father drew:

The guessing went like this: TUBE! TEST TUBE! SCIENCE! EXPERIMENT!

From “tube” to “experiment” in two seconds. Are you kidding me?

And then this, drawn by Jason:

Again, the guesses came with rapid, eerie precision: MOUNTAIN! PEAK! STEEP!

The leaps of logic they made were insane. It’s like they shared a brain.

Take, for instance, this:

This may look like a hamburger to you and I, but to the brain trust menfolk, it only took them three guesses to get “OREO COOKIE.” WhatEVER.

Meanwhile, I drew this:

And had to eventually bail because the closest anyone got was: TV!

It is so obviously a VCR. God.

It also didn’t help that my aunt was trying to get us to guess “democrat” and drew an elephant instead.

I won our little fantasy football pool (based on science!) and am trying to figure out what to do with the money ($68. Note to illegal gambling officials: this money is imaginary!). I offered to put it in our safe for um, safekeeping, but Jason said I should spend it on myself. And then I noticed a local massage place has 50-minute massages for only $39. Well, that was easy.

I’m not going to make any New Year’s resolutions this year, but here’s a list of things I vow to do to make 2009 more fun.

- Use my telescope more often on starry nights.
- Wear the jewelry that’s buried in my jewelry box.
- Open a new box of cereal instead of avoiding the last sawdusty remnants of the old cereal.
- Compliment the pets more on their cuteness.
- Start a new knitting project before my old, boring one is done.
- Surprise Jason by taking him somewhere unexpected, unexpectedly.
- Try some new recipes from the 20 cookbooks I inexplicably own.
- Live in the moment. If I’m reading, focus on the book. If I’m at work, focus on work. If someone’s talking, focus on what they’re saying. Etc.
- Go rock climbing. And to an archery range. And to a shooting range.
- Bake those cookies, even if I only end up eating two (or eight).

How about you? What would you like to do more of in 2009 that’s not really a resolution?

The non-startedness of the snow blower meant we had to shovel, which is fine normally, but despite the fact that I was wearing TWO shirts, TWO pairs of pants, TWO pairs of socks, TWO pairs of mittens, a ski mask, a scarf, a giant winter coat AND heavy-duty snow boots, I was still freezing my giblets off. And the snow was no longer the light fluffy stuff I can easily shovel off the driveway. Instead it was frozen, chunky, heavy and a royal pain. And even though I was extra careful to not convey my non-happiness at being outside slowly freezing to death, Jason must’ve read my mind because he kept telling me I didn’t have to shovel because he knew how much I hated it. To which I said, “Why would I WANT to shovel?” 

Honestly, I do hate shoveling. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do it and leave it all to Jason. I’m going to do it as fast as I can so I can get back inside, and if I have to curse once or 50 times because I’ve tomahawked the same ice chunk to no avail, that’s life, right? The mailman doesn’t really need a clear path to the mailbox; he can scale the hill surrounding it and pretend he’s climbing Mt. Everest for all I care. 

I know there are people who claim they love winter, but they don’t really love winter, they just love the IDEA of winter. They’re thinking of ice skating wearing just a sweater and a scarf; they’re not thinking about losing the feeling in your fingers after spending a mere three minutes outside. They’re thinking of drinking a hot mug of steaming cocoa in front of the fireplace while woodland creatures decorate a tree outside; they’re not thinking about your car’s engine taking a good long minute to decide if it’s going to slowly turn over or not. They’re talking about sledding down a small hill while fat snowflakes flutter prettily to the ground; they’re not talking about how you have to push snow off your roof because it’s so heavy it might cause the roof to collapse. They’re talking about a movie winter, Hollywood style. They’re not talking about how Californians would die if they spent six minutes outside in real-life winter. 

Anyway, you know what I want to talk about? How we need to be magically relocated to Hawaii. And also, that we wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

How about some pictures?

The boys playing outside. Shorty loves kangarooing through the snow – until he gets an ice ball in between his toes, then he limps pathetically over to one of us so we can remove it. 

Demanding to be let in. If we’re not fast enough, he will either 1) paw at the window or 2) lick it. (Check out the Vikings collar and tag Jason bought him. Hee!)

Showing off his early Christmas present, which he has already destroyed. This dog is ridiculously spoiled. I’m sure the cats would object if they weren’t too busy sleeping 23 hours of the day and being fed treats made with better ingredients that what we eat.

Lastly, how about a video?

Enjoy us and the pets dancing, country-style. 

You can make your own video at Elf Yourself.

Have a great holiday you guys! Go light on the eggnog and heavy on the Christmas treats!

S & J