Things Shauna Cannot Do – Part II

1. Help herself from feeling sorry for Tony Romo.
2. Refer to Tony Romo by only his first name.
3. Keep herself from wanting to punch Jason in the head when he tickles her.
4. Remember not to crack her head on the vanity every morning when she turns her head upside down to dry her hair.
5. Pretend to be happy when interrupted during her lunch hour.
6. Visit the pets for adoption at PetSmart without experiencing “something in her eye.”
7. Remove dead fish from the fishtank without imagining them coming to life at key tank-removal moments (i.e., when fish is mere inches from her face).
8. Go longer than 28 minutes without applying chapstick.
9. Be happy about performing cardio.
10. Keep herself from doodling poorly drawn flowers while talking on the phone.

Things Jason Cannot Do – Part I

1. Watch less than 5 hours of wrestling on 3 separate programs on any given week.
2. Sleep in past 5:45AM on weekends.
3. Not pet the kitties every time I walk past them.
4. Eat just one chip.
5. Drive the speed limit.
6. Understand why anyone would pay “that” much money for a Playstation 3.
7. Watch United 93 without getting angry or crying.
8. Beat Shauna a second time on our new foosball table.
9. Care if the Vikings win this weekend. Only hope that Torry Holt runs up the score on them, helping my fantasy team into first place.
10. Wait for the Twins season. (Just over 4 months!)