Meet me in St. Louis

We are back from our 2009 Twins Roadtrip. St. Louis was awesome, full of thousands of Twins fans and well-meaning Missourians who inquired whether our (apparently to them) year-round ice-dwelling bodies could handle the 105 heat index.

It was hot (Weatherman: Looks like today will be the hottest day of the year so far!), but we coped well. We drank plenty of beverages.

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We brought ice water-soaked washcloths to the games. Ahhhhhh…
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And we found shade whenever we could. (This was on the stadium tour, and during a visit to the Cards’ announcer’s booth, Jason read a note left there for Bert Blyleven. I cannot take him anywhere.)

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Gnat King Cole

I had the day off from work yesterday, and per my habit, tried to cram 417 activities into 8 hours. It was one of those perfect summer days, where I did some gardening, shopping (Joann Fabrics, I can’t quit you!), and lunched with Jason. When I got home, I read and knitted, and lint-rolled Abby while Sunny pointed out house centipedes by chattering at them until I could mash them with a paper towel. Then I tried out a new chicken recipe that was fantastic and delicious and super easy (it involved bacon bits, naturally). And then the Twins beat the White Sox. Perfect.

This morning we went running and as soon as we stepped outside, the humid air greeted me by wrapping itself around my windpipe and squeezing hello. I ran my fastest mile yet and felt wonderful, despite the fact that a fat black cloud of gnats was circling me the entire time like a flock of miniature buzzards. When we walked home and watered the flowers, I sprayed myself full-bore in the face – twice – because 1) it felt like my overheated head was going to explode into fiery shrapnel all over the daylilies, and 2) the goddamn effing GNATS. And then Jason said, “Let’s feed the birds while we’re out here,” and I got all crabby in my head for a second because, “Hey, why not? I’ve only had 13 gnats fly into my eyeball, what’s another dozen?” and hurriedly slapped suet cakes into the feeders while muttering the f-word under my breath and punching myself in the head to get rid of the EFFING GNATS. The upside? Hopefully, more birds will stop by to eat the birdseed. AND THE GNATS.

Remember The Thing? Well, I decided to hide him in Jason’s golf bag. So I brought The Thing into the garage and deposited him into a pocket with golf balls and then tried to look nonchalant and busy as Jason walked into the garage unexpectedly. And then later, at 3 in the morning as Abby was using my stomach as a bounce house, I thought, “Hey, I don’t remember Jason having a Magic 8 ball golf ball.” And then I realized I had hidden The Thing in my golf bag. And Jason got up before I did and went golfing before I could make the switch. Stupid. And then later, I told him about my gaffe, not realizing I still could’ve hidden it there. Again – stupid.

Hey, this never happens: I keep thinking today is Monday, but it’s already Tuesday. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. Ahem.