A blog featuring a disturbing amount of bacon references.
So, we went to the Great Minnesota Get Together (the state fair) this weekend. Let’s start off easy, OK?
First off, Spam, the great Minnesota staple.
Now how about some Norwegian hotdish on a stick? (Jason’s mom tried it. It was deep-fried meatballs and tater tots. Mmmmm.)
I had the day off from work yesterday, and per my habit, tried to cram 417 activities into 8 hours. It was one of those perfect summer days, where I did some gardening, shopping (Joann Fabrics, I can’t quit you!), and lunched with Jason. When I got home, I read and knitted, and lint-rolled Abby while Sunny pointed out house centipedes by chattering at them until I could mash them with a paper towel. Then I tried out a new chicken recipe that was fantastic and delicious and super easy (it involved bacon bits, naturally). And then the Twins beat the White Sox. Perfect.
This morning we went running and as soon as we stepped outside, the humid air greeted me by wrapping itself around my windpipe and squeezing hello. I ran my fastest mile yet and felt wonderful, despite the fact that a fat black cloud of gnats was circling me the entire time like a flock of miniature buzzards. When we walked home and watered the flowers, I sprayed myself full-bore in the face - twice - because 1) it felt like my overheated head was going to explode into fiery shrapnel all over the daylilies, and 2) the goddamn effing GNATS. And then Jason said, “Let’s feed the birds while we’re out here,” and I got all crabby in my head for a second because, “Hey, why not? I’ve only had 13 gnats fly into my eyeball, what’s another dozen?” and hurriedly slapped suet cakes into the feeders while muttering the f-word under my breath and punching myself in the head to get rid of the EFFING GNATS. The upside? Hopefully, more birds will stop by to eat the birdseed. AND THE GNATS.
Remember The Thing? Well, I decided to hide him in Jason’s golf bag. So I brought The Thing into the garage and deposited him into a pocket with golf balls and then tried to look nonchalant and busy as Jason walked into the garage unexpectedly. And then later, at 3 in the morning as Abby was using my stomach as a bounce house, I thought, “Hey, I don’t remember Jason having a Magic 8 ball golf ball.” And then I realized I had hidden The Thing in my golf bag. And Jason got up before I did and went golfing before I could make the switch. Stupid. And then later, I told him about my gaffe, not realizing I still could’ve hidden it there. Again - stupid.
Hey, this never happens: I keep thinking today is Monday, but it’s already Tuesday. HAHAHHAHAHAHA. Ahem.
From Tina, who sent me the link to my next knitting project:
This is so completely awesome, you have no idea. Thanks, Tina!
The pattern can be found here.
You know how some people have a traveling mascot, an item that they take with them on trips to photograph in remote locations?
Our “mascot” is The Thing from The Fantastic Four. Jason bought him a few years ago from a dollar store, and in addition to traveling to Cancun and Vegas, The Thing serves as our personal joke, where we hide him in certain spots for the other to find. He’s not as popular as Erin’s Finding Jesus, as funny as Tessie’s traveling cabin table, or as heart attack-inducing as my family’s fake hand, but that’s OK.
We hadn’t hid The Thing for quite awhile until I lazily threw him in Jason’s coat pocket a few weeks ago. He found him and then, for the next week, kept asking me if I’d found him yet. And every day that passed made me more and more concerned that it was hiding right in front of my face, but that I was too non-observant to see it.
Then I went to work one day and checked my mail. Inside my mail slot was an envelope addressed to me from Jason’s place of business (our companies do business with each other). Totally not thinking, I ripped open the envelope and had to stifle a shriek when this greeted me:
Oh, it’s ON.
