Volumes 1-5 can be found here.
“BEEP BEEP BEEP!” says the alarm clock.
“IS IT TIME TO WAKE UP ALREADY?!? I’M STILL EXHAUSTED!” says Shauna.
“GOOD MORNING! DID MY 750 MEOWS KEEP YOU UP?” says Sunny.
“GOOD MORNING! I HAVE CAREFULLY HUNTED AND KILLED THESE BEANIE BABIES DURING THE NIGHT AND LAID THEM ON THE FLOOR FOR YOU TO TRIP OVER,” says Abby.
“GUESS WHAT? I WAS SO INVOLVED WITH CHASING A FLY AROUND THE HOUSE THAT I KNOCKED ALL YOUR PAPERWORK OFF THE COUNTER,” says Sunny.
“ALSO, I AM STARVING, AND ANGRY ABOUT SAID STARVING, SO I PEED IN THE KITCHEN SINK,” says Abby.
“ZZZZZZZ,” says Shorty.
(more…)
Enjoy! (For the newcomers, the whole series is here.)
“HEY, PETS! I’M HOME FROM WORK. TIME TO ENJOY A NICE RELAXING NIGHT,” says Shauna.
“ME-ROW!” says the kitty.
“ME-ROW!!!!!!!!!!!” says the other kitty.
“LET’S GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW!” says the dog.
“WAIT FOR US TO BE PUT ON,” says the winter gear.
“DON’T WE LOOK ALL NICE AND TWINKLY?” say the backyard Christmas lights.
“HELLO!” says the rabbit in the yard. “I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO RUN FOR MY LIFE, PREFERABLY IN ALL DIRECTIONS.”
“YAY! A RABBIT,” says the dog. “WHEEEEEE!”
(more…)
Finally, here is the installment about a very weird and unfortunate injury Jason sustained when he was about 6 years old – enjoy! (The whole series is here.)
“I’M HOME FROM KINDERGARTEN!” says Jason.
“YAY! LET’S PLAY,” says Jason’s brother.
“EXCUSE ME, I SEEM TO BE MISSING SOME OF THE DECORATIVE TOOTHPICKS YOU BOYS LIKE TO TAPE TO ME,” says the bed.
“YEAH, YOU KNOW, THE TOOTHPICKS YOU SAVE FROM WHEN YOU GO OUT TO DINNER,” says the sandwich.
“YEAH, A FEW OF US ARE GONE!” says the toothpicks.
“LOOKS LIKE I’VE CAUGHT A FEW TOOTHPICKS IN MY 70s SHAGGY FIBERS,” says the carpeting.
“LET’S PLAY MATCHBOX CARS ON THE CARPET,” says Jason’s brother.
(more…)
We’ll be working on Jason’s version of a children’s story probably sometime this weekend. It’s hilarious, so keep your eyes peeled.
In the meantime, the following happened to me yesterday and practically begged to be presented in this format. Previous entries can be found here.
“YAY! IT IS FINALLY TIME TO GO HOME,” says the work clock.
“BRRR. IT IS MINUS FIVE DEGREES OUTSIDE,” says the bank thermometer outside of work.
“HA. YOU THOUGHT I WOULD TURN GREEN, DIDN’T YOU?” says the crosswalk light.
“HI,” says Shauna’s car doors. “UM…WE CANNOT OPEN. WE’RE FROZEN, ACTUALLY.”
(more…)
