Enjoy! (For the newcomers, the whole series is here.)
“HEY, PETS! I’M HOME FROM WORK. TIME TO ENJOY A NICE RELAXING NIGHT,” says Shauna.
“ME-ROW!” says the kitty.
“ME-ROW!!!!!!!!!!!” says the other kitty.
“LET’S GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW!” says the dog.
“WAIT FOR US TO BE PUT ON,” says the winter gear.
“DON’T WE LOOK ALL NICE AND TWINKLY?” say the backyard Christmas lights.
“HELLO!” says the rabbit in the yard. “I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO RUN FOR MY LIFE, PREFERABLY IN ALL DIRECTIONS.”
“YAY! A RABBIT,” says the dog. “WHEEEEEE!”
(more…)
Finally, here is the installment about a very weird and unfortunate injury Jason sustained when he was about 6 years old - enjoy! (The whole series is here.)
“I’M HOME FROM KINDERGARTEN!” says Jason.
“YAY! LET’S PLAY,” says Jason’s brother.
“EXCUSE ME, I SEEM TO BE MISSING SOME OF THE DECORATIVE TOOTHPICKS YOU BOYS LIKE TO TAPE TO ME,” says the bed.
“YEAH, YOU KNOW, THE TOOTHPICKS YOU SAVE FROM WHEN YOU GO OUT TO DINNER,” says the sandwich.
“YEAH, A FEW OF US ARE GONE!” says the toothpicks.
“LOOKS LIKE I’VE CAUGHT A FEW TOOTHPICKS IN MY 70s SHAGGY FIBERS,” says the carpeting.
“LET’S PLAY MATCHBOX CARS ON THE CARPET,” says Jason’s brother.
(more…)
We’ll be working on Jason’s version of a children’s story probably sometime this weekend. It’s hilarious, so keep your eyes peeled.
In the meantime, the following happened to me yesterday and practically begged to be presented in this format. Previous entries can be found here.
“YAY! IT IS FINALLY TIME TO GO HOME,” says the work clock.
“BRRR. IT IS MINUS FIVE DEGREES OUTSIDE,” says the bank thermometer outside of work.
“HA. YOU THOUGHT I WOULD TURN GREEN, DIDN’T YOU?” says the crosswalk light.
“HI,” says Shauna’s car doors. “UM…WE CANNOT OPEN. WE’RE FROZEN, ACTUALLY.”
(more…)
Volume One is here.
“HEY,” says the front yard. “I HAVE ANOTHER GOPHER HOLE IN ME.”
“LET’S DROWN THE GOPHER!” says the garden hose.
“YOU SHOULD MAYBE HAVE CHANGED BEFORE DOING THIS,” says Shauna’s soggy and muddy dress shoe.
“HEY - IT REALLY SMELLS LIKE SKUNK ALL OF A SUDDEN,” says Shauna’s nose.
“SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED ME!” says Shauna’s leg.
“AIIIIIIEEEE!” says Shauna’s lungs.
“OH, SORRY. THAT WAS ME,” says the garden hose.
“YOU’RE A BASTARD,” says Shauna’s heart.
(more…)
