I’m not much of an online shopper, but this week I’ve spent $1,730 on online purchases. (Can you tell I received my tax refund?) Anyway, after mail-in rebates and reimbursement of my work-related purchases, the total will only be $1,400. That’s SO MUCH better.
What did I buy? Well, Sharpies. Yep, I bought markers. In 24 colors. Why? Well, for scrapbooking and for work because people keep STEALING them. I think it should be a rule that only the editor can use red markers to edit something; I hate getting something that the account manager has already marked up in red, because then I’m forced to edit in another color, which is great, but since everyone STEALS my markers, I’m usually forced to use pastel pink or mustard yellow because of the STEALERS. Now I’m going to be forced to lick all of my pens before I set them out on my desk.
I also had to buy the latest edition of the Chicago Manual of Style for work. My boss (the one I confront on a monthly basis) suggested we use that for our internal guidelines rather than continuing to use the AP Stylebook that we’ve used for the past 28 years. (I totally prefer the AP Stylebook over the CMS – begone, stupid serial comma!) Plus, my boss only suggested the CMS after the president and I said we both preferred the AP Stylebook. Control freak. So I spent $207 on six copies, five of which will never be used.
And then I also bought an iMac and a printer. And I am not obsessed with them arriving at all. (The printer is in Pennsylvania and the computer is in California, and I have tomorrow and Monday off, and it’s totally reasonable to want to drive out to meet the FedEx truck halfway, right?)
Hey, hey, TMJ, how many jaws have you popped today?
Jason has an appointment at the Facial Pain Center (there’s some descriptive business naming right there) for his jaw-popping problem, and we’ve been on the phone with our insurance company numerous times to make sure the $400 consultation will be covered. Every time, we get vaguely the same information, only with pertinent details omitted: “Yep, you only have a $30 copay and everything is covered.” “Are there any exclusions?” “Nope.” “How about dental appliances?” “Oh, yeah, those aren’t covered at all.” “COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE MENTIONED THAT WHEN I ASKED ABOUT EXCLUSIONS?”
Jeez. I’ve called 3 times already, and I’m still paranoid enough about their false information that I plan on calling again tomorrow.
Anyway, today I called to get the name of the dentist Jason was meeting with to see if they were in our network. The receptionist was gargling with marbles, so I wrote down the name as “Dr. Cod [Last name].” And then I hung up without verifying, and tried to find Dr. Cod online. No luck. And then a little 10-watt light bulb shattered in my brain and I Googled “Dr. Todd [Last name].”
Yep, it was Dr. Todd. Not Dr. Cod.
That’s too bad.