I have spent 3 out of the last 5 weeks being sick, which in addition to bringing me to my knees in coughing fits (literally), pisses me off. I drink water, I sleep well, I exercise, I got the flu shot. I am playing by the rules here, what the hell, logic?
So in addition to already being ornery and sounding like an elderly tuberculosis patient (thanks, asthmatic lungs!), I have been dealing with some weather here. You may have heard a little about it; this is Sunday’s delightful forecast:
Negative 50 below with the wind chill. Jesus Christ.
This morning, I took the dog outside before work and didn’t put on gloves because I was only going to be out for three minutes. I didn’t factor in the wind, which buffeted me against the house the second I stepped outside and made me say out loud, “Well, now you’re just being a bitch about it,” and yes, I talk out loud to the weather, because it is actually a physical being at this point. When I got back inside, my hands were curled into little frostbitten claws of pain, and I was whimpering, so I had to warm them under water for 5 minutes. Ridiculous.
Also ridiculous? The fact that I had to actually scrape the inside of my car windshield yesterday before leaving work. Please note the ice shavings on my dashboard. Unbelievable.
Luckily, our governor has called off school state-wide for Monday, so most of my coworkers, myself included, will be working from home. I intend to spend the entire day wearing fleece clothing and drinking hot chocolate while buried under an electric blanket and two heat-giving pets as I work from my bed-desk.