Pickles & Dimes

Extra busy today. (NOTE: if you are a paper vendor, please stop coming to my place of business and LOUDLY HAWKING your eco-friendly paper products. Thank you.)

You get nothing from me today but photos.

This is not a sickness.

This either.

Sunny: “And then Abby said, ‘RECTUM? Damn near killed him!’ Ha ha!”

I would like to pass on some new thoughts dictated from Shauna last night.

There was a funny knitting story and cute little anecdote about scrapbooking. They were both humorous and long. It’s a shame I quit listening sometime around the time wrestling started on TV.

Mabye I’ll do better next time.

This time of year always gets me in the crafty mood. I love knitting and scrapbooking, but haven’t done either in about 6 months.

A few days ago I picked up a blanket I was working on and knitted maybe 10 rows before the cats took turns on my lap for Petting Time. (Petting Time is serious business at our house; it’s the only time the cats are respectful to each other, all “No, after you” when they want to sit on my lap.)

But now, I really want to knit this again:

It’s “Zeeby’s bag” from the first Stitch ‘N Bitch book. (Or, as Jason refers to it, Knitting Bitches.) I altered the pattern by putting the pocket on the outside, because that was the cutest part. Then, because I hadn’t yet figured out how to do invisible seaming, I totally ruined the bag by creating the world’s ugliest bottom seam. I was so disappointed in myself I didn’t even felt the bag afterwards or anything.

I would’ve been even more upset though if I hadn’t discovered that the pattern called for the straps to be in garter stitch. Garter stitch is extremely, um, elastic-y. Even with my super-tight knitting.

So now when I put anything of substance into the bag (book, pencil, speck of dust), the straps stretch so much that instead of a bag, I’m essentially carrying a wagon without wheels.

I think next time, in addition to making the seams invisible, I’ll knit some sturdy ribbon along with the yarn for the straps so it’s a little more durable.

I haven’t knitted anything lately except a cozy for Sammy, my iPod. I used a purple yarn that I bought in order to knit a squid hat for one of my online friends. (Incidentally, this squid hat pattern is bizarrely difficult to follow, but I vow to someday finish it. Preferably before my friend’s child turns 58.)

Anyway, I don’t know why I chose purple yarn for my cozy, because purple hasn’t been my favorite color since I was 11 and obsessed with unicorns, Espirit bags and jelly shoes.

But how can I explain this, then?

This is the tank top I knitted last year. With super heavy yarn. Yarn for a tank top. A tank top meant to be worn during the SUMMER.

Note to self: use brain more often.

This was the first garment I knitted. I worked laboriously on it, and when it came time to make the armhole decreases, I had to actually write out whether each stitch should be knitted or purled, because the stupid pattern had to LINE UP and if I was one stitch off, everything would be ruined. My brain ached from this pattern.

Also, my knitting needles gave me a splinter.

But I prevailed. I succeeded in making the armholes even, I made the side seams invisible and the thing actually looked like the pattern in the book.

I’ve haven’t worn it since.