Happy birthday! Here’s an ugly card.
A few years ago, Jason tasked me at the last minute with the job of getting a birthday card for his grandpa. My route to work is all freeway for the most part, so my only real option at the time was a gas station. I stopped in and found my choices limited – severely. Running out of time, I desperately chose the best of the worst. When I showed it to Jason, he was confused. “What…is this?”
“It’s a birthday card,” I said.
“No. No, it’s not.”
“But it was really my only option! It was either that or a fuzzy puppy nuzzling a baby duck.”
“This card sucks.”
So after that discussion (which consisted of a lot more about my inability to pick nice cards and my rebuttal that the choices were NOT SO GREAT TO BEGIN WITH), I went back and bought the rest of those cards in stock.
For the last two years, Jason has gotten this as his birthday card:
(I don’t even know what the inside reads anymore. Something about “Hope your birthday’s electric!” or something equally bad.)
And then, when I was cleaning out the Cavalier for the final time, I found one more of those delightful gems in the glovebox. So guess what Jason’s getting this year for his birthday?
Happy birthday, baby! I love you. And don’t worry, this is the last of the cards.
As far as you know…
YES. Everybody wins! Happy birthday to Jason!
Comment by Jess — August 29, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
I think the card is awesome. I don’t know what Jason is talking about.
Also…I LOVE your response to the insults. Sounds like something my family would do
Comment by sarah — August 29, 2010 @ 4:27 pm
You are diabolically awesome.
Comment by Artemisia — August 30, 2010 @ 1:39 pm
my firewall or something will not let me see the card and i am VERY UPSET. le boo.
Comment by Alice — August 30, 2010 @ 1:52 pm
My favorite part of this story is the part where you go back and buy all the cards. And then give them to Jason every year. Glad you have one left for this year!
Comment by Shelly — August 30, 2010 @ 3:37 pm
Ha! Hilarious! Sometimes the bad cards are the best.
Comment by Life of a Doctor's Wife — August 31, 2010 @ 9:43 am
Lady, I like the way you think. Also, I am in awe that you can buy a card and find it a year later. I buy them and can’t find them three days later when I need them, and end up sending them with messages like ‘I bought this for your birthday five months ago. Happy… you know, whatever’.
Comment by allison — September 4, 2010 @ 8:24 pm