Half-life
I look at life in two parts: the boring half that consists of commuting, paying bills, waiting in lines, sitting in meetings, cleaning, etc. And the other half, which consists of fun things like playing with the dog, traveling, hanging out with friends and family, camping, playing games and enjoying hobbies.
Lately I’ve been letting the boring half creep into the fun half. Now the difference isn’t
50-50, but more like 70-30. And it’s pissing me off. And I know why. Because I always have to Be Worrying. About things I have no control over. Things like our stupid mortgage company (sad to say, I am actually happy to be back where we started A YEAR AND A HALF AGO with them, the company that takes incompetence to an unparalleled level), our taxes (having to pay only half the amount we assumed), and the ice on our roof (which, thanks to our stupid news channel, made me even more nervous about our roof collapsing by airing a seriously scary piece last night on ice dams that featured a guy sticking a finger into a soggy, leaky hole in his ceiling).
Then, this morning, after I took the dog outside and found myself visually inspecting everyone’s roof for signs of ice dams, I thought: “Come on. You just finished worrying and resolving the mortgage and tax problems, and instead of having fun for a change, you’re focused on this???”
It’s like I need to be worrying or I’m not happy. Or to quote Garbage, “I’m only happy when it rains.” (Actually, I am happy when it rains because I like rain, but that is neither here nor there.)
So today I decided to give worrying a break. To push back the boring half of life into just that: half.
I’m not going to waste the fun half of life by letting the boring half exhaust me. I’m not going to procrastinate joy until after I get every single issue or perceived problem resolved. I’m not going to worry about things I can’t control. Either I’m going to do something about it or I’m not going to think about it again until I can.
I’m going to make more time for fun things. Things like exercising (our new treadmill is great and I may have made a geeky spreadsheet to track my slow, red-faced, panting progress), hobbies, friends, anything that brings enjoyment to my life. I want to enjoy life now, really live it mindfully, and not worry it away as I fret over future problems that may or may not even come to fruition. I’m going to let Future Shauna worry about that. Grab life by the horns, so to speak.
Coincidentally, Jason recently told me that the Dave & Buster’s near our house now has a mechanical bull, which is one of the things I want to try before I die.
So let’s start with that.
Sounds like a good date night to me!
Comment by Dr. Mom — February 17, 2010 @ 11:39 am
“i’m only happy when it’s complicated”
the next line to the song, which i heard last week & wondered to myself – WHY am i like that?!
good luck with the fun!
Comment by justme — February 17, 2010 @ 12:33 pm
I think we’re all like that a little bit. But this is a good resolution and I’ll join you in it. Let’s take back the fun half!
Comment by Shelly — February 17, 2010 @ 12:43 pm
Oh! I’ve been doing the SAME thing lately. It’s awful. I stress about the stupidest things I have no control over and it’s taking over my entire day. I was just saying earlier I need to start actively trying to make myself feel happier. It’s so frustrating!
So tomorrow is drunken knitting night with the girls! How much more fun can you have? (Yes, I do tend to end up ripping back everything I work on there…but whatever. It’s the process that’s fun haha).
Comment by sarah — February 17, 2010 @ 1:34 pm
I am a pro and letting the boring part of life take over.
GOOD FOR YOU. I am glad you are smacking the boring back in its rightful place. Have fun on the bull, and please have Jason take pictures!
Comment by Artemisia — February 17, 2010 @ 1:41 pm
Totally agree about the pictures of bill riding! Very necessary.
I fully support your plan and am going to steal it for my own self. Thanks!!
Comment by Emily — February 17, 2010 @ 1:49 pm
Highly recommend mechanical bull-riding. On my first date with the mister, I got drunk (underage) and rode the mechanical bull at a local rodeo. I’ve left out the drunk part as the years have passed, but i still ride the bull every year. It is awesome.
That said, I think we’re living parallel lives because I have been (1) letting the fun get sucked out of my life, and (2) eying my roof uneasily, waiting for the Ice Dam of Doom to cause big problems.
I’m stealing your plan.
Comment by Buster — February 17, 2010 @ 11:00 pm
This is great. I hope it works out well for you. I suspect that it will.
PLEASE post photos of you on the mechanical bull. PLEASE.
Comment by Jess — February 18, 2010 @ 1:50 pm
ha, i’m the opposite… i let the fun half FAR OVERRULE sometimes, when really my life would greatly benefit from some Boring But Important Worrying. (and, you know, bill paying and such.)
also, i have always wanted to try one of those bulls too. so jealous!
Comment by Alice — February 18, 2010 @ 3:43 pm
Live in the moment, baby. The very best way to be.
Well done.
Comment by Ellie — February 19, 2010 @ 7:51 am
Ugh! I’m so jealous, I’ve been dying to try a mechanical bull for years! Maybe the Dave & Buster’s in Missoula has one? *keeping fingers crossed*
Comment by amber — February 19, 2010 @ 6:43 pm