rantlets
I think Swistle touched on this awhile back: how some people tell you you’re a whiner if you complain about anything, pointing out other people’s situations like it’s a damn competition where the grand champion (a one-legged, blind, orphaned child from a war-torn country) gets a golden statuette engraved with “World’s Saddest Story.” Sometimes all I want when I complain about my (minor in the grand scheme of things, I realize) problem is some simple sympathy. Is that too much to ask? It’s like someone telling you, “Oh, I shot you four times! Well, at least there’s only two bullets left – what are you complaining about? Joe over here was shot 13 times.” I mean, COME ON. At least acknowledge that my situation sucks in a minor way, OK?
My hips and back have felt out of whack for about a month. I am not helping matters whatsoever, sleeping in a cramped “S” shape to accommodate the cats (who stray to my side of the bed for some unknown, sleep-interrupting reason) and sitting practically every night on the couch with Shorty in my lap with my legs crossed Indian-style for 2-3 hours. Who needs a straight spine, anyway?
My post-apocalyptic book fascination continues unabated (I’m currently reading Wolf & Iron). I find myself daydreaming about scouring a desolate landscape for tools and food, and plan on which items I’d hoard for the future, probably-never-going-to-happen event (hand tools, rope, salt, water, Spam, all the Mountain Dew I can carry). It all seems very nice in my hermit, simple-things-make-me-happy kind of way, but then I realize there are certain things I cannot make/fix/do, and I’d end up like that guy on The Twilight Zone, who is the last guy left on Earth and finally has time to read all the books he wants at his leisure but then suddenly stumbles and breaks his glasses, rendering him practically blind. (Coincidentally, I need to update my glasses prescription and I’m almost out of contacts. I suppose it would seem slightly insane if I asked for a 30-year supply, right?)
ANYway, are any of you into archery? Is it easy to learn? We have it on one of our Wii games and of course I realize it’s nowhere as easy as it is on Wii (and I’m not that great, anyway), but it is one of the items on my Things to Do Before I Die list that I wish to learn. Can I rent a bow somewhere while I’m learning or do I have to pony up good money for one? I think it would be a blast to take lessons. That way, I can hunt my own food when the world collapses and buffalo chicken wings cease to exist in their current form.
Ok – that is completely weird that you should ask about archery because I have made up my mind in the last three weeks that this is going to be My New Thing. W-E-I-R-D.
A. knows of some not-very-expensive bows that are totally suitable for learning. I will send you some info.
Again, weird!
But, I think I would totally, totally, love it. I bet you would to. It seems to suit you.
Also? Would you email me a list of your favorite post-apocalyptic books? I need some reading that is lighter than The Thesis Crap, and SOMEHOW, the post-apocalyptic genre seems perfect. Gah.
Comment by Artemisia — November 9, 2009 @ 4:37 pm
ARCHERY! Did you ever do it in Phy Ed? We did. It hurts your fingers. But, um, assuming I’m not as whiny about that as I was as a high schooler, I’m thinking it would be awesome. I even remember hitting the target a few times so I don’t think it’s compltelely impossible.
Comment by Tessie — November 9, 2009 @ 4:39 pm
I loved archery when I was a kid at camp. Most archery ranges will also rent you a beginner bow (I would assume that tessie’s school was like mine and had crap equipment), or you can get fancier ones with special pullbacks. Also, you should watch that video about the woman who is an objectumsexual fell in love with her archers bow and had a relationship with it, but then they were just friends and she stopped being so good at archery. But it’s okay, she ended up marrying the eiffel tower
Comment by parkingathome — November 9, 2009 @ 4:51 pm
Oh, and please complain about your minor thing, because we love you.
Comment by parkingathome — November 9, 2009 @ 4:51 pm
first off: rantlets! i love this word.
also: COMPLAIN AWAY, SISTER. we will beat down the morbid marys who make you feel bad about complaining about legitimate stuff just because someone somewhere probably has it worse.
lastly: archery! fantastic idea. definitely do it, and then document it for us
Comment by Alice — November 9, 2009 @ 5:14 pm
I HATE it when people tell you you don’t have a right to complain because, technically, it could be worse. That is true for everyone in the WORLD except ONE PERSON, whoever the Worst-Off Person in the World is, and yet the rest of us are all still allowed to vent if we need to. ARGH.
Comment by Jess — November 9, 2009 @ 5:18 pm
I’m with Alice – Complain away! All of us have things we can complain about! Just ask!
Also, preparing for the apocalpyse is one of the key reasons I want LASIC surgery. Because if the apocalpyse happens, the one and only thing I am well stocked on is books. And if I can’t read them, the only answer will be suicide. (Am only half kidding)
Comment by Shelly — November 9, 2009 @ 5:24 pm
OMG the how-bad-is-it one-upsmanship is seriously my LEAST FAVORITE THING EVER. There will always be someone who has it worse than you, but that doesn’t mean that your life is roses just because you can afford a toothbrush. Allow me my suffering, small as it is, because it is MINE and it is REAL and it DOES affect my life, whether someone else thinks it’s bad or not. It happens to me all the time at work (I own a coffee shop)… if answer the “how are you?” with “So busy today!” the reply, without fail, is “But that’s a good thing!” Yes. I am happy to be busy and making money and all that stuff, but just once it would be nice if someone was like, “Huh, that must be kind of hard” or “Sounds a little overwhelming” or something besides, “But that’s a good thing!” Bah.
Man, I am a Ranty McRanterpants.
Comment by seven — November 9, 2009 @ 5:52 pm
Yes, YES! Like only the person who has it THE WORST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD is allowed to complain; everyone else must shut up. And then, the person who has it the worst has to shut up, too, because AT LEAST THEY GET TO COMPLAIN, think of others who don’t get to because they’re not as badly off!
I did archery in PE in high school. I don’t remember much about it except that it was way more difficult than I’d expected from my many viewings of the cartoon version of Robin Hood.
Comment by Swistle — November 9, 2009 @ 8:30 pm
Am I the only one that loves reading rantlets? Seriously, I heart them. I think they’re funny and they make me feel better about my own issues. Please, rant away!
Comment by Buster — November 9, 2009 @ 10:39 pm
OMG you and your readers are my PEOPLE!!! I mean it we are all the same and I love you all. LOVE do you hear me?
Rantlets! Please rant away. I love it. And besides my friend Jess says “Feelings are real!” So how you are feeling is how you are feeling. Grasp it, hold it, love it and tell us all about it. We are here to read each and every word that you write. And we love them all.
Oh Archery SUCH a good idea!!! Really I’ve always thought it would be so much fun.
(p.s. and BTW Tally takes up the entire bed and I have to sleep in the weirdest angles in order to get a tiny little piece. What we won’t do for our animals!)
p.p.s. I want Lasik because of the apocalypse too. I mean a nearsighted gal ain’t gonna make it at the end of the world right?
FYI this comment all HAD to be typed one handed because Tally HAS to be petted ALL of the time!! RANT
Comment by Emily — November 9, 2009 @ 10:43 pm
I loved archery at summer camp many, many years ago.
Scott and I are always saying that certain skills or items will come in handy when we’re forced to live off the land. Because that’s how we roll.
Comment by Nowheymama — November 10, 2009 @ 9:27 am
I did archery in college for some class and I liked it well enough but it is harder then it looks and OMG soreness of the upper bod! Once you get it though and you build up those muscles it is super fun!
Have you read Steven King’s The Stand? Very post-apocalyptic. I still think about that book on days when things in the world seem really bad!
Comment by Christina — November 10, 2009 @ 9:39 am
Two things.
I’ve been away from the blogs for a while, so don’t know if anyone recommended Suzanne Collins’ “The Hunger Games”. It’s a YA title, but a good one — it really stuck with me.
I shot arrows in the Poconos this summer and it is the most invigorating, energizing, empowering thing to do. THWACK! You feel like a superhero. Or a goddess. Do it.
Comment by Ellie — November 11, 2009 @ 8:51 am