Tails of horror
Hello. May I share my horror with you so I can relieve myself of the insanity?
No? Well, too bad, because my mind doesn’t want to think about this anymore.
We get mice in our garage. Usually it’s not a problem, because the plastic traps do their job and Jason and I dispose of little mice carcasses every fall. I mean, yeah, there was that one time where a trap caught a live mole, and the time Jason found only a head in a trap, oh, and the time one of the traps disappeared entirely (we still talk about how some mouse is roaming around Mouse Cul-de-Sac, bragging about his newest accessory, “Yeah, got it at that sweet place down the block.”)
But this year, either the mice have developed super strong limbs or Rapid Quickness, because weird, creepy things are happening. Thing the first: Jason found TWO mice in one trap. How does that happen? Thing the second: the mice are not dying instantly, so we routinely have to search the garage to find a trap, usually located underneath one of our vehicles, with a trapped mouse that is either a) mostly dead but not quite or b) dead but dangling by a teeny little appendage so there is a fairly good chance it will fall out of the trap on the way to the garbage and end my relationship with Sanity.
And then there is Thing the Third.
[Deep breath]
One morning last week, I opened the garage door from inside the house and walked outside. As I headed toward the garage, I saw something.
A mouse. Alive. Dragging a trap behind it.
I reacted by moaning some high-pitched gibberish and pointing at the garage.
Jason: What? I don’t see anything!
[Mouse continues to drag plastic trap behind it.] SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE
Me: Right there!!!
Jason: Nope. Don’t see it.
[Mouse has now dragged trap the entire length of the garage and is making a break for freedom through a trail of leaves outside.] RUSTLE RUSTLE RUSTLE SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE
Me: *Mind cannot comprehend the horror*
Jason, nonchalantly: Oh, now I see it!
So Jason walks over to the mouse, which has wedged itself between the side of our garage and our recycling bin. And luckily, it was facing the correct way, so all Jason had to do was step on the trap to release the clamp and the mouse scampered free.
But late in the night, if the moon is right and you’re listening carefully, you can still hear it.
RUSTLE RUSTLE RUSTLE
SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE
HE LET IT GO!!??!! Now you’re just going to have to catch it all over again! Because….it WILL be back!
Comment by Becky — October 27, 2009 @ 4:12 pm
OH MAH GAH.
Comment by nonsoccermom — October 27, 2009 @ 4:35 pm
It would NEVER be my job to empty the traps because, ummm, I am a wuss. I salute your incredible bravery.
Comment by NGS — October 27, 2009 @ 4:46 pm
EEK! I remember the ONE time I had a mouse in the apartment (thanks to my dirty neighbors that had a mouse INFESTATION and when they got evicted our landlord warned us that there would be mice. So nasty). Anyways, I set the trap in my cupboard and caught the mouse. And then couldn’t bring myself to pick up the trap with the dead mouse. I seriously made my friend come over and throw out the mouse FOR me and I took her out to dinner instead. I hate mice haha.
Comment by sarah — October 27, 2009 @ 5:19 pm
I saw one mouse die in a trap, ever, and I still see it burned into my eyelids
Comment by parkingathome — October 27, 2009 @ 5:28 pm
AAAAAACCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
Comment by Shelly — October 27, 2009 @ 5:41 pm
OOOOOOOOOOOOOH, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDD.
No. No. No.
I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. No way. Oh, I am so sorry!
Oh. We had a horrible month about four years ago where a mouse family moved into our home. I nearly lost my sanity. I bleached EVERYTHING damn near every day. I would lay awake at night and jolt out of bed, waking up A. to ask, “Did you hear that? Did you? It is a mouse. I know it is a mouse!”
And then I would run around the house trying to find the damn (most likely, imagined) mouse. And would stay up and bleach the kitchen and run all the dishes and silverware through the dishwasher JUST IN CASE.
Oh, I feel for you.
Comment by Artemisia — October 27, 2009 @ 5:50 pm
I let the one go because it was only caught by the tip of the tail and was running around like the trap dragging behind him weighed nothing at all. I’d like to believe he was one of the handful of semi-dead mice that I had to finish off with the garden spade.
Comment by Jason — October 27, 2009 @ 7:22 pm
*SHUDDER*
Comment by Nowheymama — October 28, 2009 @ 7:17 am
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE the visual of the mouse dragging the trap behind him like some deformed leg or something. Awesome.
Comment by Shelly — October 28, 2009 @ 7:53 am
Bwahahaha. Gross. But also funny. Only because it isn’t me.
Comment by Jess — October 28, 2009 @ 11:23 am
Blech. We’ve had a few mouse visitors this year. We set the traps, hear them go off then sit there totally disgusted and argue over who has to throw out the result. It will never be me.
Comment by LoriD — October 28, 2009 @ 11:32 am
this is why i enjoy living in a condo. a) very few rodent issues and b) OTHER PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH IT.
Comment by Alice — October 28, 2009 @ 12:38 pm
Ewww. This reminds me of the summer I was live trapping mice at a site for work. I would have to open the trap and dump the mice out and hope the mice didn’t scurry up my hand in the process (they didn’t, generally, it was the chipmunks who did).
Anyway, there was this one time that something was in that trap…something large and furry and bloody because it had been bashing its nose against the door trying to get out. The trap was solid metal and I couldn’t see in. And…ew. I still shiver to remember the sensation of opening the door and having something LARGE (for a rodent) run past my hand. Ewwwww.
Comment by Penny — October 29, 2009 @ 9:08 am
Okay, that is just beyond the pale. Gross. Ugh. And most importantly: Eek.
Comment by Ellie — October 29, 2009 @ 9:11 am
I don’t know what kind of traps you’re using but may I recommend D-Con? They make several pest solutions but the one I’m talking about is a box-like contraption that runs around $4.50 at Target. They are dark little places that apparently lure mice better than the regular snap traps. Best of all: you don’t see the mouse, just a little tip of tail. They’re supposed to be reusable but UGH, I just throw the whole thing away. I guess the price tag is a little high if you have a lot of mice but they’re much better than anything else I’ve tried, snap or glue. Good luck!!
Comment by Cran — October 30, 2009 @ 10:54 am
Nooooooooo!
Comment by velocibadgergirl — October 31, 2009 @ 9:18 pm
You are so funny!!! I’ve become obsessed with your website and I spend most of my work hours reading all your archives. And I made an account JUST to post comments. I wish I’d found you sooner, and I wish you posted as much as you used to! You must be constantly busy now though because you are so famous!!
Comment by Isaiah — April 6, 2011 @ 5:34 pm