Things I would’ve probably said had I gone to BlogHer
1. How do I get to XYZ Hotel? Please give me directions that do not contain the words “east” or “west.”
2. I think I recognize that blogger…Hi, blogger! Oh, you’re an employee of the hotel? Sorry.
3. Nope, I don’t really drink. Hey, where are you guys going?
4. Yes, this is a “natural” French pedicure and not the result of me ignoring my toes for a month.
5. Where did I get this outfit? Target.
6. So…you guys like The X-Files?
7. What time are you guys getting up? 6:00 a.m.??? Screw you.
8. You paid HOW MUCH for those shoes?!? Are you INSANE? Oops, I meant to say…they’re nice!
9. Hi, I’m Shauna from Pickles & Dimes. What’s my site about? Um…bacon, Mountain Dew, imaginary conversations with inanimate objects and my pets, mostly. You?
10. You wanna bail from this conference and go get some chicken wings?
How about you?
Hee! I know you would find others who adore bacon and you would have your own little posse, just like that.
I wonder, when being introduced to someone, how many times I will have to say I am from Wyoming and not Miami. I swear, people always hear “Miami.”
I would be so awkward when talking about my blog. I would avoid it like I avoid talking about The Thesis.
“Hi, I write once every couple of weeks. Either about chasing cats away from bluebirds or how much I happen to adore modern chemistry as it has recently fixed my brain. Yes, my blog is RIVETING.”
Really, though, I would love to meet some of these women who I read their blogs or who are incredible writers. Maybe next year?
Comment by Artemisia — July 24, 2009 @ 11:47 am
You need to add “bacon” to #9.
We could totally hang at BlogHer.
Comment by Nowheymama — July 24, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
Yeah, probably a lot of those same things. But it would still be fun!
Comment by Jess — July 24, 2009 @ 12:41 pm
You guys are right, how did I forget about bacon???
I’ll add it.
Comment by shauna — July 24, 2009 @ 12:56 pm
i LOVE it! and would probably be right next to you for the wings!
Comment by fritz — July 24, 2009 @ 1:09 pm
Girl – I would so hang out with you BUT only if you are okay with the fact that I will only eat faux bacon… really faux anything pork like. Do you hate me?
Oh. I see how it is… huff.
Imaginary conversations? Wha???
Comment by Christina — July 24, 2009 @ 2:05 pm
Did you say chicken wings? I’m totally there.
I don’t get east, west, north, or south directions, either. Seriously.
Comment by Shannon — July 24, 2009 @ 5:41 pm
“Hi, I mostly write reviews of really cheap wine and pretend I know something about it. Sometimes I complain about my daughter’s sleep habits. Or how stressful my job is. Whee!”
Comment by nonsoccermom — July 24, 2009 @ 6:27 pm
“What’s with all the flat irons and the make up bags? Are we actually supposed to, like, MAKE AN EFFORT here to look nice? Guess I’m in the wrong place…”
Also: “Will someone come help me evaluate this ovulation test and/or pregnancy test and obsess over the darkness of the lines with me? Come on, guys, I have lots! We can all take one! No? No takers?”
Comment by Sarah — July 25, 2009 @ 2:11 pm
LOL! Dude, I would totally ditch out to get chicken wings with you.
Comment by Shelly — July 27, 2009 @ 8:48 am
1. My name? WHICH name, my ACTUAL name or my BLOGGING name?
2. Blog name? I know I have one. Ha ha! How silly, I can’t remember!
3. Market my what?
4. Enhance my what?
5. Do what for what?
6. Room service costs WHAT????
7. Cocktail dress? We were supposed to wear cocktail dresses? Oh damn it. How about a long t-shirt?
8. This is a GREAT bathroom.
Comment by Swistle — July 27, 2009 @ 11:38 am
That would totally have been me too.
Comment by Janssen — July 27, 2009 @ 1:52 pm
You would have TOTALLY fit in with us. And I am not even kidding.
Comment by Shelly — July 27, 2009 @ 3:07 pm
If you had been there, I might have wanted to go!!
I’ve also never heard the phrase ‘natural’ french manicure. I’m vaguely grossed out (not that my own toe maintenance is anything close to good. I’ve been wearing the same Paradise Pink color for…weeks).
Comment by amber — July 28, 2009 @ 11:50 pm
Yeah, pretty much sums up what I would have done.
I would love love LOVE to go one of these years, but I feel my overt akwardness would probably leave me alone crying in a corner – the niche for hockey/heavy metal-loving moms under 30 is relatively small to non-existant. Akward phrases I can envision myself uttering are as follows:
“Oh, I see you clean your house regularly… How exactly do you do that?”
“Do you catch the Stanley Cup this year? No? Oh..”
“Hi. I write about… pretty much just my cute baby. Here! Look at the cute baby, wearing all black! Yes, she’s a girl.”
“Wait, I have to pay for my hotel room? Umm.. Budget Inn location? Left or Right from the stoplight?”
“Cannibal Corpse is on tour again. Let me tell you, hearing ‘Make Them Suffer’ live was fantastical.” *at which point I am promptly smacked in the face*
Comment by Julie Momster — July 29, 2009 @ 10:29 am