Pickles & Dimes

Today, after meeting Jason and a few friends for lunch, I headed back to work. The route I take has a speed limit of 45 mph. I was cruising along at about 45 mph in the left lane when I noticed myself coming up quickly on the car in front of me, which had to be doing about 35 mph. I started slowing down about 4-5 car lengths from the car, when the guy tapped his brakes. Thinking he meant to get into the right lane so he could exit for the upcoming golf course, I slowed down even more. At this point, the guy slammed on his brakes. I braked as well (not needing to slam on them since I was still a decent distance away). And there he sat, not moving. He didn’t have his turn signal on, and there was nowhere for him to turn, anyway. What the hell?

I was stuck behind him until the cars in the right-hand lane finished passing. I waited for the guy to merge, still thinking he meant to get over for the golf course. He accelerated and then, as soon as I accelerated too, stomped on the brakes again. What was this guy’s problem? I had done nothing wrong: I was going 45 in a 45 mph zone, I was still quite a distance away from him before he braked, and yet, as I passed him and looked over, expecting to see him either on the phone or having a heart attack, he was yelling at me. Screaming, actually. An irate, bald, glasses-wearing old guy was honking his horn, screaming so his face was red and veiny, probable spittle flying from his lips, the whole nine yards. Seriously?

I threw him a confused look and continued on my (45 mph) way. I noticed he was still going around 35 mph, with other cars passing him as soon as they could. At one point, I had to get back in front of him (to avoid a working garbage truck) and then had to stop to wait for someone else to turn left. Even though the guy came no closer than 6 car lengths to me (what was his deal??), I could tell he was still furious.

At an intersection, I got into the right-turn lane, while the guy straddled the left-turn lane and the lane to go straight, still gesturing and yelling at me (about 4 minutes had passed by this point). I laughed and rolled my eyes at him and then watched the car behind him try to figure out if he was turning or going straight, finally nosing alongside him to get into the turning lane.

Well, the old guy went even more berserk. It was unreal. And the kicker is, I bet he’ll be telling his cronies at the Legion all about those damn kids driving like morons.

This is why I believe senior citizens should be tested yearly to keep their driving privileges.