May 5, 2009

Reasons we did not sleep well last night, of which there are many

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Shauna @ 9:55 am

1. Bedroom unusually hot, even for female who normally desires room temperature to be “tropical.”

2. Ceiling fan turned on to counteract heat makes female swipe at hairs tickling her face.

3. Window opened to let in fresh, cool air serves as giant megaphone for obnoxious bird chirping at 4:13 a.m.

4. Bird chirping lures grace-deficient cat onto headboard in a less-than-quiet manner.

5. Angrily shut window deters cat from headboard stalking, but results in claws-extended leap onto male’s face.

6. Male shouts curse words and something to the effect of, “She scratched the inside of my lip!”

7. Female consoles herself by thinking, “Well, at least it’s the weekend” – three times.

8. Female then realizes it is not the weekend. And weeps.

9. Cat v.2 jumps onto bed, demanding to be petted.

10. Petting not forthcoming, so agonizing display of unrelenting pawing commences.

11. Alarm clock goes off.

12. Male has giant welt on inside of lip.

13. Female heads to work in sleep coma.

11 Comments

  1. OOoohh Gooodddd. How does one make a bird STFU when it doesn’t understand NIGHT? I hope it’s just mating season and they’ll shut up once they get some.

    Comment by Parkingathome — May 5, 2009 @ 10:12 am

  2. Damn cats! I had a sleepless night due to cats as well. Ungrateful hair beasts.

    Comment by Shelly — May 5, 2009 @ 10:20 am

  3. The birds have been waking the kids up at 4:15. I want to put poison in my neighbor’s birdfeeders.

    Comment by Nowheymama — May 5, 2009 @ 10:27 am

  4. How weird is it that I, too, have woken up the past two mornings thinking it was Sunday? I hate being wrong like that.

    Comment by Whimsy — May 5, 2009 @ 10:39 am

  5. Heh. The cat stuff basically goes on in our house on a weekly basis. Between the barfing, the meowing and the running across/damaging various parts of our bodies, it is no wonder we ever get sleep. Except, wait: we don’t.

    Comment by Penny — May 5, 2009 @ 10:55 am

  6. That sucks! Birds should be seen and not heard.

    Comment by Shelly — May 5, 2009 @ 11:14 am

  7. What was it with pets and the four-o’clock hour? Lordy.

    Comment by Artemisia — May 5, 2009 @ 11:57 am

  8. when we had nice weather last week and i slept w/the windows open, i was awoken at Inappropriate Times Of The Morning by:

    1. the garbage truck right beneath my window.
    2. the construction dumpster truck taking away the full construction dumpster right under my window, and literally DROPPING a several-ton new one into place. with a lot of BEEP BEEP BEEEP backing up involved.
    3. the freaking PORTA POTTY TRUCK coming to.. i don’t know, do something… to the porta potty next to the construction dumpster, which resulted in a smell so bad it actually woke me up
    4. my friend calling to let me know she’d just had sex in her front yard

    these were all different mornings. it was unfortunate. i feel your pain, and it’s not good.

    Comment by Alice — May 5, 2009 @ 1:37 pm

  9. UGH! The birds keep waking me up at 4AM TOO! Driving me insane since I don’t have to get up until 5 and I want that freaking extra hour! Unfortunately, the birds also wake up Oscar…so I don’t get much more sleep. I’m thinking of investing in a BB gun…seriously haha

    Comment by sarah — May 5, 2009 @ 3:39 pm

  10. Hoop insisted this morning that it was Saturday, despite the fact that we just had a huge (memorable) yard sale on Saturday and Sunday. I think it’s just one of those weeks. We should all just drink some wine.

    Comment by Tink — May 5, 2009 @ 11:06 pm

  11. What is up with cats INSISTING on being in bed with you at night and why do they feel the need to sleep ON your head? Good thing they are cute!! haha

    Comment by Beyond A Mommy — May 6, 2009 @ 10:50 am

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