April 28, 2009

heavy

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Shauna @ 1:30 pm

I’m having a hard time right now. Things are chaotic and I feel like the world has it out for Jason & I.

Jason is still unemployed. It’s a good day if there’s something worth applying for. We’re trying not to get on each other’s nerves and for the most part, we’re successful. Other days, not so much.

My car needed $913 in repairs, which is nearly twice the amount the car is worth. The only reason I didn’t dump it and get another car is that I despise having car payments.

Jason’s truck made weird lurching noises on the freeway last weekend.

Our 5/1 ARM (I know, we should’ve gotten a 30-year fixed loan. Thanks, hindsight!) on our house is set to reset next August. I have been trying for 5 months to get someone to work with us to either refinance (impossible, since our house is now worth $70,000 less than we paid 3.5 years ago) or do some kind of loan modification due to Jason’s unemployment. It’s frustrating because no one wants to even talk to us unless we’re behind on the payments (which we aren’t).

I’m tired of this uncertainty. I want to know when things will be all right for us. I want to peek into the future, to have an end date for this anxiety. Will it be days, weeks, months? I can make it if I just know, you know? I’m tired of picking through dozens of frustrating things to find itty bitty shreds of silver linings.

I don’t want sampler-stitched platitudes. I want to know when we can have a day, or even a week, when nothing is breaking down, when stress takes a holiday, when something goes our way for once so everyday frustrations can just roll off our backs. Because right now, our backs are against the wall and things aren’t rolling. They’re stacking up.

And they’re heavy.

28 Comments »

  1. Yick. I’m so sorry. I have had weeks (months; years) like that. Someday it will be better.

    Comment by seven — April 28, 2009 @ 2:14 pm

  2. Oh no! Things will get better, even if it feels like there is no end in sight. I’m not good with giving advice on these sorts of things, because I tend to be a repress and deny sort of person….so if you’re up for pulling the covers over your head and ignoring it all, yay!

    Perhaps it’s time for some buffalo wings.

    Comment by Parkingathome — April 28, 2009 @ 2:25 pm

  3. I really hope that Jason finds a kick ass job really soon. You guys deserve some good, celebrating type news.

    Comment by Flibberty — April 28, 2009 @ 2:26 pm

  4. I’m so sorry, Shauna. Sometimes that “trying not to get on one another’s nerves” part of stress is the worst and hardest of all. Big hugs.

    Comment by Sarah — April 28, 2009 @ 3:06 pm

  5. I’m so sorry, friend. I really hope things turn around SOON.

    Comment by Shelly — April 28, 2009 @ 3:15 pm

  6. Oh man. I’m so sorry that all this stuff is happening at once. And I really hope that the pendulum swings the other way, and soon.

    Comment by Jess — April 28, 2009 @ 3:19 pm

  7. I am sorry. I wish I could say more then that… try to hang in there.

    Comment by Christina — April 28, 2009 @ 3:22 pm

  8. I’m so sorry things are so rough. I’m glad you have more than a year (“next” august = aug 2010?) with the mortgage. I’m sorry Jason can’t find a job quickly. The job thing can turn around in very quickly, though, so I will cross my fingers on that end.

    Comment by Penny — April 28, 2009 @ 3:23 pm

  9. Son of a. I am so, SO sorry. Hang on, man.

    Comment by Tessie — April 28, 2009 @ 3:24 pm

  10. I’m sorry. I would totally send you one of those posters of kitten holding onto a branch with the words “HANG IN THERE” in big letters.

    Comment by kirida — April 28, 2009 @ 3:49 pm

  11. Oh, dammit. I am so sorry, guys. Man, A. and I had a full year and a half like that, and it was terrible. Oddly, I swear buying the wood stove fixed that. Do you have a wood stove? If not, maybe you should buy one? TOTALLY WORTH IT.

    We are thinking of you, sending Good Wyoming Vibes.

    Miss you.

    Comment by Artemisia — April 28, 2009 @ 4:19 pm

  12. I wish I could peer into the future too, and not just so that I can get the good lotto numbers. Sending good thoughts your way.

    Comment by My Buddy Mimi — April 28, 2009 @ 4:51 pm

  13. I’m sorry. Sending good (perhaps even bacon-y) vibes your way.

    Comment by Gretchen — April 28, 2009 @ 5:24 pm

  14. Ugh. Times of prolonged stress are so hard. Thinking of you guys lots.

    Comment by pseudostoops — April 28, 2009 @ 5:24 pm

  15. I think that not knowing how long these times will last is the hardest part.

    Comment by Nowheymama — April 28, 2009 @ 6:44 pm

  16. Ugh. I am so sorry for your situation. I had an entire year in law school where I lived like this, and literally had no idea where rent money would come from (my car also broke to the tune of $3K). I cannot imagine having to deal with that all over again in adulthood.

    Comment by slynnro — April 28, 2009 @ 7:00 pm

  17. Ugh, having just gone through a similar rough patch all of last year, I know the last thing you want to hear is stupid platitudes or anything, but I’m so sorry things are so poopy right now. Just keep going forward. It will get better.

    Comment by sarah — April 28, 2009 @ 7:46 pm

  18. I wish that I could make good things happen for you two. I wish and will keep on wishing until things do get better. I hope that it helps to know that we are all out here hoping and wishing good things for you.

    Comment by Emily — April 28, 2009 @ 10:07 pm

  19. Oh dude, if you lived in Washington I’d totally have you work with our mortgage guy, because the dude is amazing. But since that’s not possible… I’m going to email you with some suggestions. Not that I’m any expert AT ALL.

    I hope things start to let up on you guys soon.

    Comment by Whimsy — April 28, 2009 @ 10:40 pm

  20. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. Uncertainty is definitely the hardest part. Sending good thoughts your way that things turn around soon. Hang in there!

    Comment by Sara — April 29, 2009 @ 5:46 am

  21. Oh dear. Did you ever read that wonderful Chinua Achebe novel with the world’s best title? “Things Fall Apart.” We’ve been saying that a LOT lately around here too…..

    Comment by Ellie — April 29, 2009 @ 6:44 am

  22. Yeah, we’ve been there and it sucks. I will say that during that time period we learned a lot about living on less, enjoying simple pleasures, etc. You’ll be on the other side of it soon enough, I’m sure of that.

    Comment by LoriD — April 29, 2009 @ 7:28 am

  23. Oh, things will get better!! :)

    Rough patches always make us question this; but everything works out for the best in the end – and times of hardship always make us that much stronger! Your future will be very bright! :)

    Comment by Chicks and Whisks — April 29, 2009 @ 10:57 am

  24. Ah, that sucks! I hope things take a 180 for you soon.

    Comment by Fiona Picklebottom — April 29, 2009 @ 12:36 pm

  25. ugh. craptasticness. :-( i’ll be thinking good thoughts for jason and will a fantastic opportunity to come his way.. :-P

    Comment by Alice — April 29, 2009 @ 1:11 pm

  26. I hope things get better for you both very soon. I’ll pray for you.

    Comment by amber — April 30, 2009 @ 1:40 am

  27. Ooh! The new masthead is GORGEOUS! LOVE it.

    Comment by Shelly — May 1, 2009 @ 9:02 am

  28. You know, I was talking to my husband last night about how some friends of mine were trying to refinance their house loan and they couldn’t find anyone to loan them money (he works for a financial institution). He recommended, if you already haven’t, trying a credit union. He works for a credit union (Washington residents only, though) that is desperately trying to loan out money right now. Just a thought. I really hope things look up soon!!

    Comment by Shannon — May 13, 2009 @ 3:18 pm

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