They probably even used schematics and paw signals
Jason and I (and Jason’s poor unsuspecting brother, who stayed with us for a few days) were the unwitting victims in an extremely well-planned and perfectly executed attack. By the pets.
First, Shorty. His “nervous around guys” syndrome kicked in when Jason’s brother came over, which was understandable at first, but perplexing once he’d been relaxing quietly in my lap for 15 minutes before suddenly remembering: Oh, right! Strange guy in the house! barkbarkbarkbarkgrowlbarkbarkbark. Which he repeated at random intervals for maximum effectiveness.
Next up, Sunny. Suddenly terrified of the dog’s constant, unpredictable barking, she sought refuge on top of the refrigerator. When that wasn’t enough, she went downstairs into our second bathroom sometime yesterday and managed to shut the door, locking herself in there for god knows how long. I came home from work to weak, pitiful meows that brought visions of gruesome injuries and heart-tugging illnesses to mind, and opened the bathroom door to find her wide-eyed and yelling belligerently at me, next to a bathmat that looked like it had endured an epic struggle.
At bedtime, Shorty snuggled angelically in our bed, where he slept fine the first night, but was suddenly prone last night to bolting upright and barking at random intervals, usually during quality REM sleep.
Abby horfed up a giant pile of greenery at 3:47 a.m., which she ingested from our newest plant, the one we want to keep alive for longer than three months. After cleaning it up while preventing the dog from “cleaning it up,” and in a fit of insanity and lack of sleep, I pulled her face to mine and hissed, “Stop eating the [bleeping] plant!”
And THEN, when I woke up this morning, I discovered that sometime during the Nighttime Festival of Animal Annoyances, Sunny had opened both the pantry door and the cupboard door where we keep our liquor.
I’m hoping it was all a ploy to keep us awake because otherwise, I need to mark the alcohol levels in the bottles and then sit the cat down for an intervention. And accuse the other two of being enablers.
Better check your medicine cabinet too so they don’t sneak any of your prescriptions.
Comment by My Buddy Mimi — January 16, 2009 @ 12:35 pm
ah…the joy of having pets.
Comment by Sarah — January 16, 2009 @ 12:36 pm
Heh, our dogs used to get like this when people stayed with us when they were younger pups. It does go away with age, or it has with our dogs anyway.
I have no thoughts about the alcoholic cats other then getting into a feline 12 step program!
Comment by Christina — January 16, 2009 @ 12:53 pm
Just the thought of pet enablers struck me funny. Thanks for the laugh.
Comment by jean — January 16, 2009 @ 1:01 pm
Awesome! All of it! Drunk cats and plant-barfing dogs. At least you were warned about the barf, rather than stepping in the cold stuff the next morning.
Comment by Penny — January 16, 2009 @ 1:01 pm
my cats definitely drink alcohol. if i leave a glass of anything alcoholic out, they drink it.. and then lick the rim of my wineglasses when i’m done with them. as far as i know they haven’t learned to pour the drinks themselves though. YET.
Comment by Alice — January 16, 2009 @ 1:25 pm
ps am currently drinking that delicious tea you sent me out of the pretty mug
pps OH ALSO! the handwarmers from the PiF package are going to come in SO HANDY at the inauguration!!
Comment by Alice — January 16, 2009 @ 1:30 pm
Maybe it’s the change in the weather? Our cat and dog were all squirrely during the night last night. Jasper’s random barking and Miti’s window blind pawing were quite annoying. Perhaps if you let them have a little to drink before bedtime, everyone would sleep better?!
Comment by Julie — January 16, 2009 @ 2:00 pm
HAHA! You’re pets have reached TEENAGE YEARS.
Comment by erin — January 16, 2009 @ 3:33 pm
Hilarious!
Comment by Me Today — January 17, 2009 @ 9:05 am
Oh my gosh, that was too funny for words. I loved it. Our girl dog has been *freaking* out every night at bad time and jumps up onto our bed. The first night we let her sleep with us and consequently woke up with sore necks in tangled postitions from worrying we weren’t giving her enough space. Yeah – she’s got us trained.
Oh and the reason why she did this…. I have a cold and when I cough she has to be right in my face. I am hoping she is worried about me while my husband thinks she thinks I am trying to bark and speak to her.
Ahhh the joys of having animals in our lives.
Comment by Kara — January 18, 2009 @ 9:47 am