Pickles & Dimes

Enjoy! (For the newcomers, the whole series is here.)

“HEY, PETS! I’M HOME FROM WORK. TIME TO ENJOY A NICE RELAXING NIGHT,” says Shauna.

“ME-ROW!” says the kitty.

“ME-ROW!!!!!!!!!!!” says the other kitty.

“LET’S GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW!” says the dog.

“WAIT FOR US TO BE PUT ON,” says the winter gear.

“DON’T WE LOOK ALL NICE AND TWINKLY?” say the backyard Christmas lights.

“HELLO!” says the rabbit in the yard. “I THINK I WOULD LIKE TO RUN FOR MY LIFE, PREFERABLY IN ALL DIRECTIONS.”

“YAY! A RABBIT,” says the dog. “WHEEEEEE!”

“SHORTY – STOP!” says Shauna.

“NO WAY JOSE,” says the dog.

“HEY, I COULD’VE EASILY ESCAPED THROUGH ANY NUMBER OF SMALL HOLES IN YOUR FENCE, BUT INSTEAD I WILL CONTINUE RUNNING IN CIRCLES AT FULL SPEED,” says the rabbit.

“OH-OH,” says the fence. “REMEMBER THAT LARGE GAP IN ME YOU TRIED TO BLOCK WITH A PIECE OF WOOD?”

“SEE YA,” says the rabbit, leaping through the gap.

“DITTO,” says the dog, following the rabbit.

“@#$%!!!” says Shauna.

Hey, kids! How can we prevent this from happening in the future? Let’s see!

1. Have someone guard the fence.

2. Build a moat.

3. Hire ninjas.

4. Put the vacuum cleaner outside.

5. Relocate the rabbits to Florida.

“WHAT’S GOING ON?” says Jason, as he gets home from work.

“BARK BARK BARK WHINE WHINE WHINE,” says the dog, now in the neighbor’s yard.

“HEY THERE!” says the giant fallen tree limb. “DID YOU HAVE A NICE TRIP?”

“OUCHIE,” says Shauna’s leg.

“HELLO THERE,” says the neighbor’s motion light. “NO ONE LIVES HERE RIGHT NOW SO IT IS AS DARK AS A CAVE BACK HERE, BUT I WILL HELP YOU OUT. LOOKS LIKE I AM TOO LATE, THOUGH. OOPSIE.”

“SHORTY, COME HERE,” says Shauna.

“HERE SHORTY,” says Jason.

“OK,” says the dog. “I WILL MAKE YOU THINK MY TRAINING STATUS AS A LEVEL 3 DOG IS MAKING ME COME TO YOU.”

“I…AM…ALMOST…WITHIN…YOUR…REACH…” says the dog’s collar.

“OH HAI!” says the rabbit. “I KNOW I COULD’VE WAITED TWO MORE SECONDS BUT I FELT THE URGE TO STREAK PAST YOU AGAIN TO DEMONSTRATE NOT ONLY MY SPEEDINESS BUT ALSO THE FACT THAT I HAVE A DEATH WISH.”

“BEST GAME EVER!” says the dog.

“@$#@^@&!^!%!$!$!$%!#$^!@%&%$&!%!!!!!!!!” says Shauna. “I WILL WRING YOUR STUPID NECK MYSELF, RABBIT!”

“OK, I AM DONE NOW,” says the dog. “BUT ONLY BECAUSE I HAVE TO POOP.”

THE END.