Pickles & Dimes

Jason, whispering to me after Thanksgiving dinner: I’m thankful for you.

Me: Aww.

Jason: Yep, I’m thankful for my beautiful wife.

Me: That’s so sweet.

Jason: I’m thankful for our great relationship.

Me: Hmm-mm.

Jason: I’m thankful that you’re forgiving.

Me: That’s right.

Jason: And I’m thankful for your patience.

Me, totally joking: And you’re thankful for my big bazoombas?

Jason: Well, I’d be more thankful if that were true.

Are any of you still having trouble with my site taking you to spam sites? I can’t replicate the trouble myself, and I know a few of you said that clicking on my link from Google Reader takes you to different sites - but does it do it now?

I spent some time deleting an unauthorized user from my account as well as deleting some spammer script in my database code, so please let me know if that did the trick. (God, I hope it did because I’m out of things to try.)

Thank you!

Stupid things I have done for no reason whatsoever in the past 24 hours:

- Put a load of laundry in the washer, told Jason I started said washer, went to move clothes from the washer into the dryer, and discovered I did NOT start said washer even though I claimed I did.

- Used two pot holders to remove a scalding cake pan from the oven, put cake pan on top of the oven, realized cake pan was too close to the edge of oven, and used my bare hand to lift up the cake pan to move it.

Jason and I shipped the following items to Iraq for a care package for the troops: beer nuts, beef jerky, little personal fans, Ziploc baggies, batteries, gum, toothbrushes, microwave popcorn and hot cocoa mix. It was so fun, I think we’ll do another one next month.

Our front desk receptionist was laid off last week, and before she left, she had apparently ordered a Thanksgiving meal lunch for everyone for our monthly meeting (paid for by the company). We canceled our monthly meeting, but no one remembered she had ordered food, so today a guy showed up with turkey, stuffing, cranberries, green bean casserole, mac & cheese, rolls and mashed potatoes. I think we have enough food to feed everyone for a week. SO FULL.

You know what’s unfair and goofy and annoying while also being cute? The fact that our cats hang downstairs with us as we work out. So as I’m doing jumping jacks, Abby is lounging lazily on the couch, watching me. And when I’m trying to do pushups or squats, Sunny’s playing dead right next to me, staring. It’s unnerving, like they’re judging my form or something. So I make sure to do everything correctly, just in case they call up Jillian Michaels to tattle on me.

I don’t really get speakerphones. I know they’re useful for conference calls when people are in separate cities, but most of the time everyone huddles over the phone like frozen refugees over a burning trash barrel, struggling to hear. The sound is always distorted, with half of the people sounding like they’re buried under 200 pounds of concrete – in Russia – and the other half puncturing your ear drum every time they blat a consonant.

Tomorrow is Doughnut Day. I bet Jason thinks I forgot, as not a single day goes by without me forgetting something (such as watering the plants or picking up milk), but when it comes to food that is bad for me, I’ve got a mind like a steel trap.

My car is only 50 miles from reaching 170,000. I can’t decide which is more pathetic: if I make sure to drive my car everywhere this weekend to witness it (I always forget if I’m driving to work) or if I take a picture of the odometer as it changes. Or both. Never mind.

You’re welcome: from now until Nov. 24th, go to restaurant.com and get a $25 restaurant gift certificate for $2. That’s right - $2. You can get $100 for $8. (NOTE: You can use the $25 gift certificate only if you have a minimum food purchase of $35. Each restaurant has its own restrictions. So it’s not like you’re getting a meal for FREE, but you’re paying $2 to get $25 off your order.) Just type in your ZIP code, select a participating restaurant and the certificate amount, and wait until you check out to apply the code “SURPRISE” (all caps, no quotes) to get the additional 80% off. I called ahead to the restaurant I wanted to make sure they’d honor these certificates and they said they would. (Also, after you purchase the certificate, you’ll see a page where it looks like you have to fill out a bunch of stuff, but just scroll to the bottom and hit “No thanks” to go directly to print your certificate.)

Also, also, I do not work for restaurant.com. Just so that’s clear.

We are bringing pies to Thanksgiving this year (”bringing” vs. “baking”). We ordered two pumpkin pies and one French silk. And then Jason, the man who can’t eat veggies or fruits but can mysteriously tolerate pumpkin pie, said we should’ve gotten three pumpkin pies, and when I said, “I don’t like pumpkin pie,” he looked at me like I was crazy. And to be honest, with the exception of French silk (only the pie, not the crust), I don’t like any kind of pie. Does this make me a communist?

What kind of pie do you like?