Pickles & Dimes

What kind of stupid time warp does today exist in, anyway? It’s 3:30 on a Wednesday in the middle of one of the longest months ever, I have no motivation, and time is passing so slowly that I feel like a target in a shooting gallery: I’m overwhelmed by things I want or need to do, and then PING! I get shot down by feelings of lethargy. I recuperate by procrastinating until I stress myself to action again, upon which point I stand back up with thoughts of productivity and goal-accomplishing on my mind and PING! I’m down again. And yet this day will not end.

The Minnesota State Fair starts tomorrow and both Jason & I took Friday off so we could go to the Brad Paisley concert and gorge ourselves on alligator nuggets (seriously, I love the alligator nuggets SO MUCH). The Thing will be accompanying us this year, which I am strangely happy about. Also, awhile ago my mom sent me an email with the subject, “Hey crazy bacon lady,” telling me that there will be TWO new bacon foods at the fair this year: The Pig Licker (chocolate-covered bacon sprinkled with sea salt) and the Big Fat Bacon (1/3 lb. of fried bacon covered with maple syrup. On a stick, of course). Looks like I’ll have to sample both – in the name of science, naturally.

Also, I hear there will be Pickle Pops: frozen pickle juice in a push-up sleeve. Fantastic. I better start training for my culinary descent into Fair Food Frenzy.

It’s now only 3:39. Alert the media! I have apparently found the Fountain of Youth. It exists here within the bowels of Workplace, where you never age BECAUSE TIME NEVER MOVES FORWARD.

From Emily: Did you guys both grow up in MN? Would you like to live anywhere else?

We did both grow up in MN; in very small towns that were eerily similar. It’s nice having the same sort of background; we never feel weird about going home and visiting because it’s so familiar (and there’s no need to explain why certain stores are only open 3 days a week). I’ve always thought it would be nice to live in a coastal state like Maine, Massachusetts or Washington. We’d both love to live on the water, whether on a nice lake or the ocean.

From Fiona Picklebottom: If Jason doesn’t eat fruits or vegetables, how does he stay, er, regular?

Jason does eat potatoes and likes fruit juices, and he also supplements his diet with a lot of multivitamins. Plus, the man drinks a LOT of milk. So it’s never really been an issue.

From Tessie: I want to know about what you were like as a kid.

Jason was a bad kid, I was a saint. Actually, we were both pretty good kids. I was really shy and quiet, and tended to read a lot instead of socializing, but I also lived out in the country with few neighbors. We had horses, so my brother and I did a lot of riding. I was one of those kids who would’ve died if an adult yelled at me, so I pretty much never questioned authority. Jason…not so much. Both of us were 3-sport athletes and in 4-H, although I geeked up my reputation by also being in knowledge bowl, mock trial and band. I’d say we were both mildly popular in high school, the type of kids who were friends with everyone since we were in so many activities.

From Michelle: What is the most romantic thing you have each done for each other? What is on your list of dreams to do before you die?

Jason is very good at being romantic. I think I love the little things he does that are unexpected, like when he gets flowers for no reason at all, or takes care of some chore early in the morning so I can sleep in. I love that. His birthday is coming up and I think what I’m doing for that will be romantic. Also, I’m packing us a picnic lunch this weekend and we’re going to go biking along the Mississippi – that’s romantic, right? (He’s definitely better at being romantic than I am.)

Before I die, I want to 1) swim with dolphins and 2) have a book published. There’s a million more, but those have been on my list the longest.

Thanks for the questions, guys! That was fun.

And now for a Shorty update: He is doing MUCH better. We were so accustomed to walking Sick Shorty that last night when we were walking Feeling Better Shorty, it was less of a walk and more of a Race Against Time around the neighborhood. His coughing has significantly diminished and I’ll probably stop calling him “Goose” and “Buddy Hackett” soon (maybe).

We let him explore the basement last night (he was scared of the stairs before), and he got scolded for chasing Abby again, but Sunny stood up to him and hissed (for the first time in 4 years) so I hope he gets the message that the cats are Boss and not squirrel-like toys to chase for his enjoyment.

We can now stare at him while he eats, and his routine is to clean his bowl and then crawl into one of our laps for a quick cuddle and to belch in our face.

New pictures!

That tail just kills me.

Shorty, don’t eat that grass. No, stop it. No grass! Hey! Quit it! Aw, screw it, go ahead, you grass fiend.

Why, he’s right, he CAN do a decent Elvis impersonation. Thank you, thankyouverymuch.

We loved reading all of your questions; it’s so interesting to see what people want to know about our boring life. Here’s our answers.

From Saly: Should Baby O wear outfits with sock monkeys? Also, I want to know more about your camping routine. Is it always the same place? How much ‘roughing it’ is really involved?

It is our firm belief that babies should always wear 1) hats and 2) outfits with monkeys on them. It should be a law, or a required class: How to coordinate hats with your infant’s Monkey Attire.

Our camping routine, let’s see. We have our favorite sites that we try to hit every year: Baylor Regional Park in Norwood Young America, MN, because they have gigantic campsites in a gorgeous setting, and Interstate State Park in St. Croix Falls on the MN/WI border because the scenery is unbeatable and it’s where Jason proposed to me.

Our routine is pretty casual: lots of reading, me falling further behind in our cribbage tournament, dice games, and walking around enjoying the scenery. As far as “roughing it,” well, we are pretty well-equipped. We bring marinated steaks to grill and have an air mattress to sleep on. And of course, there’s our famous ceiling tent fan and hammock. So, we’re pretty much Specialty Tenters. And every place we camp has showers and bathrooms.

From Sara: How’s Jason’s toe? And what’s your running routine?

Jason’s toe was healing fairly nicely until someone stepped on it while we were at Target this past weekend (sorry!). Now there’s a grotesque bump on it that looks like it’s about to poke through the skin. GAH.

My running routine – hahahahhahaha. Well, when I DO run, I do a mile and a half (to run any more would involve getting up before 6:00 a.m. and NO WAY, JOSE). So I run 400 yards, walk 100, run 300, walk 100, run 300, walk 100, run 200, walk 100, run 200, walk 100, run 100, walk 100, and then SPRINT the last 100. It’s pretty easy and I keep saying I’ll run farther and faster, but I never do because I am extremely lazy.

From NonSoccer Mom: Do you drink coffee? If so, do you drink it daily or just as an occasional treat? What is your favorite kind? How about Jason? 

Neither one of us drinks coffee. I’ve tried all kinds just to see if I’m missing something, but nope. Jason’s the same way. We’re not tea drinkers, either; we’re more hot cocoa type of people. Actually, I’m a Coke or Mountain Dew gal, and Jason likes Rock Star.

From Jess: What are your thoughts on kids, and if/when you’d like to have them?

We love kids, LOVE them, but right now, we have decided not to have any. We have no family nearby for potential daycare/babysitting emergencies, we live in a not-so-great area, we both work later hours than we’d like if we did have kids, daycare costs are INSANE, etc., etc. I know we could find a way to make it work if we did decide to have children, but right now, we’re perfectly happy with our lives the way they are. But who knows? We certainly didn’t walk into that Petco a few weeks ago thinking we’d come home with a new 4-legged pet, either.
 
From Stephanie: How did you two meet? What do you like best about Jason? What drives you NUTSO and vice versa?ӬHas anything changed in your relationship since getting married? Anything better than you expected? Anything more difficult?

We met at our old place of employment. Our first conversation was about the Minnesota Vikings. My favorite thing about him is how he never forgets anything. Also, he is so sweet with the pets, it makes me melt. However, his never forgetting anything also drives me INSANE, especially during arguments because he’ll quote something I supposedly said two months ago and I can’t prove him wrong because my own memory is nonexistent.

According to Jason, his favorite thing about me is how “passionate you are about everything; big or small. You give it your all.” And the thing that drives him nuts is when I sometimes have “very little” common sense. (Whatever.)

Not much has changed in our relationship since we got married. We’re still working on communicating better because we are on opposite ends of the Communicating Spectrum, and we talk more about finances, but that’s about it.

From Sara: How tall are you? 

I’m 5′5 (and a half!)

From Kirida: What’s an easy physical exercise I can do that won’t make me crawl into the fetal position afterwards?

Well, the 100 pushups challenge is awesome. It only takes about 5 minutes a day, and even though some days I want to say, “20 pushups, followed by 15, 15, 12 and 20? Are you on CRACK?” I love doing them and feel so badass afterwards. Plus, I finally moved on to Week 4 – FINALLY.

From Julie: What was your wedding like? What’s your favorite thing to cook and HOW do you cook for a man who doesn’t eat fruits or vegetables? Do you like to travel and where’s your favorite spot? Did you like camping before you met Jason?

Our wedding was the most fun I’ve ever had. We got married in an indoor park with a waterfall and it was gorgeous. Everything was low-key and casual and fun and I didn’t want the day to end.

My favorite thing to cook is either chicken saltimbocca or my Grandma’s spaghetti with bacon. Jason does eat potatoes, so we’ll have variations on those fairly often. If I want veggies, I’ll either make them just for myself to have on the side or add them into the dish after I’ve served up Jason’s portion (mushrooms in pasta, for instance). Fruits usually rot in our fridge because I can’t eat them fast enough and consider them a “lunchtime-only” item.

We do like to travel, although we don’t go anywhere too fancy very often. Our favorite place is probably Cancun because we both love the ocean, but we also really look forward to our annual Twins roadtrip (so far we’ve been to Milwaukee, Chicago, Detroit and Denver).

I did like camping before I met Jason, but we go a LOT more often now. Also, we’d love to go here sometime and camp in a treehouse.

From Shelly: Would you rather give up sex or bacon?

Bacon. (AM POSSIBLY LYING.)

From Alice: Can you post more pictures of shorty? And who are your top five favorite musicians / bands?

Oh, Alice. You are SO going to regret requesting more photos of Shorty. Actually, since we are slowly starting to believe he is on his way back to Healthy Land, we’ll resume the photo sessions. And then you’ll BE SORRY.

Favorite bands? Hmmm. Here’s Jason’s:
1. Dazy Head Mazy
2. Aerosmith
3. Mötley Crüe
4. Butch Walker and all of his bands/projects
5. Martin Zellar/Gear Daddies

And mine:
1. The Killers
2. KT Tunstall
3. Jem
4. Dropkick Murphys (I know Jason loves these guys too)
5. Cake

Thanks, guys! We’ll answer any additional questions tomorrow.

Hi. I am bored today and have nothing to say, so how about I make you guys do my work for me? We’ll pretend I’m your boss, OK? Now type up that report, Jones!

Seriously, though, how about you guys ask Jason & I some questions and we’ll respond to them either today or tomorrow.

Please? Otherwise, we’ll have no choice but to note your non-cooperation in your upcoming performance review.