post or die
I have been threatened by the co-author of this blog that if I do not update it, he will be shutting it down and putting a note on here that says, “It was a good ride. Thanks for the memories.”
So, crappy updates for everyone!
My hair is at that stage where it is still considered “short,” but yet every morning I think, “This hair. It is too LONG.” Today my bangs are at the precise length where they’re not long enough to tuck behind my ears and yet they magically fall directly into my eyes whenever I put my head down. Don’t put my head down, you say? Well, I edit for a living, so unless I tape my work to a wall and stand across from it, it is unavoidable.
After repeatedly trying to unsuccessfully tuck my bangs behind my ears (Bangs: “No, we have not grown enough in the last 4 seconds for this to work, idiot”), I remembered I had a bobby pin in my purse. And then I looked at my desk and saw a pair of scissors. The scissors were closer. Much closer.
However, the unglamorous bobby pin WON, but it was thisclose.
Yesterday it was humid and sticky and hot and gross and dusty, so naturally I decided to mow the lawn. The lawnmower actually started on my very first pull, but something must’ve been wrong with it, because it felt about 200 pounds heavier to push around. Jason and I have been working out for nearly two weeks now and instead of feeling stronger, I was wheezing and hot and sweaty and at one point, felt a sharp pain in my upper chest that I convinced myself was the precursor to a heart attack. And yet I didn’t dare stop the mower, because what if I couldn’t get it started again? So I kept going, convinced I was going to die on our lawn, and then Jason came home and glanced at my beet-red face and sweaty arms and said, “Um, are you OK?”
And I said, “Water. Now.” And drank ¾ of the bottle in one swig and dumped the rest over my head like a marathon runner. Man, it was hot. Also, I am still way out of shape.
Anecdote of the day: Sunny was cuddling with us on the bed this morning, trying to nudge us up earlier to feed her. She was mostly ignoring me, but constantly giving Jason head butts and wet noses to his head. At one point he leaned toward her to give her a kiss and realized something was…off.
She had her butt in his face. BWAHAHAHAHHAHA.
You’re right, that was a crappy post! I thought you were joking when you said you had NOTHING to say.
Comment by Jason — June 25, 2008 @ 1:53 pm
Now is that nice? No. No, it is not. And it was a perfectly fine post. Now stop threatening your co-host…..
Comment by Ellie — June 25, 2008 @ 2:19 pm
I thought it was a perfectly lovely post (well other then the almost dying while cutting the grass). I particularly liked the cat story. A LOT
Comment by Christina — June 25, 2008 @ 3:03 pm
Yeah Jason. Leave Shauna alone. She’s not the one going around kissing cat butts.
Comment by Emily — June 25, 2008 @ 3:16 pm
The cat butt kissing was lovely
Comment by sarah — June 25, 2008 @ 3:17 pm
I was on the treadmill the other day and it was WAY harder than normal. I was panting through my second running interval and wanting to die after, and usually I make it through four or five of those before I reach true levels of torture. I was sitting there thinking that I had regressed, and then when I finished I noticed that the damn treadmill was on a steep incline from the person before me who hadn’t reset it. Then I felt MUCH better.
Too bad the same thing didn’t happen with your lawnmower!
Comment by Jess — June 25, 2008 @ 3:21 pm
but.. but… there wasn’t a reason for the lawnmower near-heartattack? like the.. uh.. brakes? were on?
Comment by Alice — June 25, 2008 @ 3:43 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHH! butt kissing.
Comment by Shannon — June 25, 2008 @ 4:25 pm
The cat butt kissing is FUNNY! Just walking from the back door to the car makes me break out into an unladylike sweat…it’s just too freakin’ hot outside to do anything, especially mow!
Comment by Julie — June 25, 2008 @ 8:45 pm
The cat butt story was enough on it’s own to make this a not crappy post.
Comment by slynnro — June 25, 2008 @ 9:40 pm
You guys are lucky your cats nudge you awake with kisses and ill-placed butts. MY evil little rascal pounces on my eyeballs with her full weight, or rakes bleeding furrows down my bare patches of skin. Eee!
Comment by amber — June 26, 2008 @ 2:07 am
Oh - what I wouldn’t have given for Jason to have discovered Sunny’s direction this |—–| much later. HA HA HA HA.
Comment by Artemisia — June 28, 2008 @ 9:33 am
My bangs are at the EXACT SAME STAGE. I can’t decide whether to cut them or wait until they’ll tuck. Since it’s next to impossible for me to find time to go get a haircut (the reason why my bangs are at this point currently), I figure I might as well wait. But oh, the temptation to hack them off!
Comment by Fiona Picklebottom — June 28, 2008 @ 3:24 pm
hahahahahaha I LOVE the marathon runner water-dump. Don’t feel bad, I do that after I walk the ten feet to get the mail!
Comment by stephanie — June 28, 2008 @ 11:00 pm