Mother of invention
Do you guys get wrapped up in infomercials like I do? I mean, I don’t actively watch them, but one of us has a habit of channel surfing and then retreating to the computer while the remote is stuck on an infomercial. And the other one is lazy and does not understand the remote very well.
Therefore, if my phone would’ve been right beside me instead of requiring me to walk 25 steps, I would’ve ordered Billy Mays’ Mighty Putty the other day.
And, if I had my own infomercial, I’d showcase the products/concepts I’ve “invented” (“invented” meaning I thought of it in my head, drew up a business plan during a boring work meeting, bored Jason to death during long car rides with my marketing ideas, and then actually DID NOTHING about it because I lack financial backing and an entrepreneurial spirit).
My 3 inventions:
1. Bed sheets that are half flannel, half cotton.
That way, Jason doesn’t melt to death and I stay toasty warm. Hey, wait a minute – someone already thought of this. Damn!
2. Self-rapping windshield wipers.
Obviously, this product could only be installed on cars driven in cold weather climates, but anyone who’s driven in freezing weather knows how built-up ice chunks wreak havoc on your wipers.
My self-rapping wipers would be activated with the push of a button, which would make the wipers protrude a few inches from the windshield, where they would gently rap against the glass until the ice buildup disappeared.
3. A soundproof restaurant.
No more screaming kids, no more hordes of drunk college students, no more people yakking on cell phones, no more sounds of clanking silverware on plates. Just a nice, quiet soundproof booth for you and your family to enjoy great food and the only conversation you want to hear: your own. Summon a waitress by pushing a button in your booth. Easy!
So tell me, what would you guys invent?
I love #2 – would definitely buy those.
I came up with semi-disposable diapers. The gross part gets thrown away (or ideally flushed) and the outer part gets washed and reused, thus putting less pressure on our landfills. Someone has already patented the idea in one form, which is where my research ended.
Comment by LoriD — June 3, 2008 @ 11:47 am
Oh my god I am still stuck on those sheets. Those are AMAZING.
Let’s see, I’d invent a file storage system where you can save the same document in multiple folders and when you update it, it automatically updates in all the folders. Folders don’t really exist anywhere so I do not understand why you can’t tag a document with more than one folder anyway. It would be so much easier to find things.
Comment by Jess — June 3, 2008 @ 11:47 am
I also meant to say that I would buy the whole Billy Mays product line. He had me hooked with OxyClean, but now I need the absorbent cloth things, the putty… all of it!
Comment by LoriD — June 3, 2008 @ 11:56 am
Dude, I once bought an EGGSTRACTOR from the “As Seen On TV” store at the Mall of America. True story. God, what a piece that thing is. I still WANT it to be true, though.
I would like to invent an EGGSTRACTOR that really works. And keeps my dream of never having to peel the shells off of hard-boiled eggs alive.
Comment by Tessie — June 3, 2008 @ 12:07 pm
Love #2. Would buy in a heartbeat.
When I was in grade school (hell, all throughout school and college) I used to daydream about creating a vaccine or something so that you would get shot in the arm once at the beginning of the school year and learn all the math you needed for that year. I hate shots, but they are WAY better than math…
Comment by Artemisia — June 3, 2008 @ 12:08 pm
omg, i just watched the infomercial and *i* totally want the putty. although i’m with LoriD, i sort of would buy ALL his stuff.
am 100% behind the self-rapping wipers. GENIUS!!
Comment by Alice — June 3, 2008 @ 12:52 pm
Practically, I’d love a camera that had Bluetooth. They might actually make those already.
Impractically… I want hair like one of those dolls I used to have where their hair was long and then you could pump their arm to make it shrink up so it was short, and then when you got tired of the short, you could just push that button in her back and pull her hair out until it was long again. I love my short hair, but I would love to be able to go long sometimes.
Comment by seven — June 3, 2008 @ 12:53 pm
If I still lived in MN I would DEFINITELY buy #2. The hell of trying to peer through a partially cleaned windshield because of the ice/snow build up on the wipers is really one of the top reasons I moved away. (OK that and other things but really good idea!)
What I would love is if someone invented a condiment container that does not hold on to its precious contents. Why do I have to scrape my knife around the inside of the jam/peanut butter/butter/cream cheese/etc. containers until I give up on those last remaining bits of numminess and admit defeat? That squeezable jelly thing was a great idea. Where did that go?
Comment by Emily — June 3, 2008 @ 12:59 pm
Dang, I need those sheets!!!
Comment by Shelly — June 3, 2008 @ 1:15 pm
My husband and I would make children’s books out of Tyvek. No more fear giving a toddler a book to look at. No more hours spent taping books back together. No more damage fees at the library. I really should talk to DuPont about that…
Comment by Gretchen — June 3, 2008 @ 1:17 pm
There’s nothing I’d invent, as I lack both the creative spirit AND the entreprenuerial (sp?) spirit, but my husband is totally you. Every month or so he gets these ideas and spends hours boring (I mean fascinating!) me with the details of his business plans.
Comment by Sarah — June 3, 2008 @ 2:55 pm
Am I the only one who constantly wakes up in the middle of the night to the infomercial where the guy is talking about his daughter’s poop? Seriously! Like 3 times a week!
Hub invented a cup shaped french fry holder, so you could putit in your cupholder. Apparently though, so did Burger King.
Comment by Saly — June 3, 2008 @ 3:22 pm
I guess the obvious things are out? Like time machines and clothes that make you look really skinny even when you’re at your most fat and bloated?
How about, a tiny vacuum that could live in your car and hook up to the cigarette lighter when you needed it, to you know, vaccuum out all the crumbs in the back seat before your father in law squishes himself in there and gets his pants totally dirty.
Comment by Penny — June 3, 2008 @ 3:44 pm
I put this on the wrong post initially….
I never have any invention ideas, but Aaron is always “inventing†things that have already been invented. Or dumb stuff like pizza scented dryer sheets. He thinks that is the best idea ever conceived.
Comment by slynnro — June 3, 2008 @ 3:56 pm
The web site ate my comment. Odd. I think you should defintely work on Idea #2 Shauna. It’s a clear winner. One of the reasons I moved away from MN was the shear hell of winter windshield wipers. It was too much for me to bear.
I have no invention ideas of my own. I might just be evil and steal some of the ones in the comments. Pure genius people.
Comment by Emily — June 3, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
Sorry Emily, my spam guard flagged your comment. I fixed it. No idea why it did that.
Comment by Shauna — June 3, 2008 @ 5:32 pm
When my 7-year-old was a baby, she used to scratch the side of her nose ’til it bled while sucking her thumb. The solutions at the time were to cover the baby’s hands to keep that from happening, but then she wouldn’t have been able to suck her thumb. Also, the little mitt things were too easy to remove and they fell off a lot. So I invented a hand cover with a thumb hole that had a velcro strap around the wrist to keep it from falling off. I even made a rudimentary one. It worked like a charm. But apparently I too lack entrepreneurial spirit (not to mention financial backing), because I never did anything about it, even with people prodding me to. I think something like that exists now, so I missed the boat.
I love your soundproof restaurant idea. It would enable those of us with noisy kids to occasionally get to go out without feeling like we’re annoying everyone in a twelve-table radius.
Comment by JMC — June 3, 2008 @ 7:54 pm
I love the soundproof booth! Would totally sit there to spare others our noise and to spare us from obnoxious diners.
Comment by Shelly — June 4, 2008 @ 9:18 am
Oh. My. God. Please invent the windshield wiper rapping thing. Please. Also, my mom’s idea for someone else to invent (because we are too lazy) was a heater of sorts for your keyboard/mouse. The air conditioning is always on in her office (or so she says), and her hands freeze. I’m thinking that the mouse could have a hand warmer built in, and you could get a usb powered warmer that would clip onto your keyboard. It could blow warm air on your hands or something.
Any takers on making this stuff??
Comment by Becky — June 14, 2008 @ 10:56 am