Our life: a children’s book, vol. 4
Finally, here is the installment about a very weird and unfortunate injury Jason sustained when he was about 6 years old – enjoy! (The whole series is here.)
“I’M HOME FROM KINDERGARTEN!” says Jason.
“YAY! LET’S PLAY,” says Jason’s brother.
“EXCUSE ME, I SEEM TO BE MISSING SOME OF THE DECORATIVE TOOTHPICKS YOU BOYS LIKE TO TAPE TO ME,” says the bed.
“YEAH, YOU KNOW, THE TOOTHPICKS YOU SAVE FROM WHEN YOU GO OUT TO DINNER,” says the sandwich.
“YEAH, A FEW OF US ARE GONE!” says the toothpicks.
“LOOKS LIKE I’VE CAUGHT A FEW TOOTHPICKS IN MY 70s SHAGGY FIBERS,” says the carpeting.
“LET’S PLAY MATCHBOX CARS ON THE CARPET,” says Jason’s brother.
“VROOM, VROOM,” says the Matchbox cars.
“AAAAAAAAAAH!” says Jason.
“WHAT’S WRONG?!?” says Jason’s mom.
“I HURT MY KNEE,” says Jason.
“THERE’S A TOOTHPICK STUCK IN YOUR KNEECAP!” says Jason’s mom.
“HELLO, THERE!” says the toothpick.
“LET’S PULL IT OUT,” says Jason’s mom.
[later]
“MY KNEE STILL HURTS,” says Jason.
“I FEEL LIKE I’VE BEEN IN A FIGHT: I’M SWOLLEN, WARM AND BRUISED,” says the knee.
“IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S NOW PAST REGULAR DOCTOR’S HOURS. YOU’LL HAVE TO GO TO THE ER,” says the clock.
“THE TOOTHPICK MAY HAVE BROKEN OFF INSIDE THE KNEE,” says the ER doc.
“AAAAHHHH!” says Jason.
“LET’S PROBE AROUND YOUR ALREADY PAINFUL KNEE, JUST TO MAKE SURE,” says the ER doc.
“AAAAHHHHH!” says the knee.
“YOU’LL BE OK. IT’S NOTHING A FEW BAND-AIDS CAN’T TAKE CARE OF,” says the ER doc. “I’LL BE SURE TO TELL ALL OF MY DOCTOR BUDDIES ABOUT THIS ONE.”
THE END.
Ouch! Also, I was totally looking for the drawing you created yourself and I couldn’t tell which one it was. You are seriously talented! Which is it?
Comment by Jess — April 27, 2008 @ 3:29 pm
hahaha! I once got a toothpick stuck in between my big and next toe. That shit hurts.
Comment by slynnro — April 27, 2008 @ 4:07 pm
Jess, I couldn’t find a toothpick one, so I seriously altered the one that I found.
Comment by Shauna — April 27, 2008 @ 6:22 pm
BAHAHAHAHA! Jason saved used toothpicks and taped them to his bed BAHAHAHAHHAHA!
Sorry, was that not supposed to be funny? Because it is hysterical.
Comment by Stephanie — April 27, 2008 @ 8:09 pm
You have a seriously impressive clip art library.
Comment by My Buddy Mimi — April 27, 2008 @ 8:27 pm
Oh this made my day.
Comment by kirida — April 27, 2008 @ 9:07 pm
I love these children’s book entries. And… TOOTHPICKS as a collectible?
Comment by JMC — April 28, 2008 @ 6:42 am
Yeah, the best part is DEFINITELY where they taped the toothpicks to the bed.
I like the clip of Jason’s mom, too. Heh.
Comment by Tessie — April 28, 2008 @ 6:55 am
I alternated between grimacing at the thought of the pain of the toothpick in someone’s knee and laughing my butt off at this!
Comment by deni — April 28, 2008 @ 6:59 am
That is hysterical (both the collecting and the injury, although I’m sure he wasn’t laughing at the time). I also love the children’s book entries. Hehehe.
Comment by Becky — April 28, 2008 @ 7:29 am
HA! Awesome. And I used to love those toothpicks as a kid too, but couldn’t ever think of anything to do with them. I could have been taping them to my bed! *smacks forehead*
Comment by nonsoccermom — April 28, 2008 @ 9:08 am
Oh this gave me the bad kind of shivers. YUCK!!
Comment by Saly — April 28, 2008 @ 11:28 am
so.. did.. the doctor just… LEAVE the toothpick parts in his knee..? i’m very distressed about this.
i didn’t tape those toothpicks to my bed, but i do distinctly remember loving them SO MUCH and trying to figure out ways to let my parents keep them instead of throwing them away..
Comment by Alice — April 28, 2008 @ 12:29 pm
Alice,
Nope, there weren’t any toothpick splinters in his knee; it was a clean puncture wound that only bled internally, which led to the swelling.
What is it about those toothpicks? At my 30th birthday party, Jason’s pre-teen niece asked if she could have one as a souvenir…
Comment by Shauna — April 28, 2008 @ 3:32 pm
If only the pretty little flag end would have been the end that had gotten into his knee. But wait that thought just nearly made me throw up. I take it back. Sorry Jason! But it’s still funny.
Comment by Emily — April 28, 2008 @ 5:22 pm
Tessie,
The picture of me isn’t from Shauna’s clip art. It’s actually a picture of me sitting in my office…yeah right
Displaying the decorative toothpicks went well with the shag carpeting! Needless to say, after the toothpick incident, they all got discarded.
~Jason’s mom
Comment by Becky — April 29, 2008 @ 5:41 am
Interesting collection I must say. Now what does he collect? Parsley pieces they give you on your plate for decoration when you eat out?
Comment by linda — April 29, 2008 @ 9:59 am
Comment #17 came from Me. Shauna’s mother
Comment by linda — April 29, 2008 @ 10:01 am
Hi, mom! Is your computer back up?
Comment by Shauna — April 29, 2008 @ 10:08 am