Things
1. The weather – again. It was snowing this morning, and while I’m sure it’s not sticking (by which I mean: It better not be sticking), I didn’t really need that F-you first thing in the morning from Mother Nature. Seriously: short-sleeved shirts – I own them!
2. CIGNA insurance. Besides their assholian customer service routine, which apparently consists of offering different assertions regarding our TMJ coverage during the EIGHT different phone calls I placed, they refuse to pay a single dollar for Jason’s $1,100 mouth guard. With all the mouth-punching I feel like dispensing toward their ilk, they should maybe rethink their policy on that.
3. My hip. Sometimes when I lean forward in my desk chair, my hip locks up. I usually then glance around furtively, ascertain that no one is around to hear my uncanny resemblance to Old Lady Osteoporosis, and then grit my teeth and twist until my hip pops in a very satisfying, if somewhat painful, manner. I did this on Friday and have since noticed that when I walk, it hurts in some unspecified place. Like I know it hurts, but would be hard pressed to distinguish where. My hip? My butt? My upper thigh? I imagine some butt socket is out of place, but I’m pretty sure there is no such thing as a butt socket. Or if there is, I don’t want to know because it’s probably not what I’m thinking.
4. Gameday Audio. It worked great during Spring Training, when it didn’t matter, but now that the regular season is here, it won’t work. And I’ve tried various browsers and computers and it still won’t work and you have 80 minutes until the Twins game today, Gameday Audio – FIX IT.
5. I finally proved to Jason my months-long suspicion that the guy who played the referee in “Dodgeball” is the same guy who is the referee for “American Gladiators.” And when I finally IMDB’d him, I saw that nearly every role he’s played has either been “Softball Umpire” or “Referee.” That’s typecasting for you, huh?
6. We finally saw “Juno” this weekend. After the first 5 minutes of crappy dialogue, the film got over itself and was quite good. As was “I Could Never Be Your Woman,” with Michelle Pfeiffer (whom I adore) and Paul Rudd (ditto).
7. This only amuses me, but maybe someone else out there will find this awesome. In the movie “Major League” (my favorite movie EVER), there’s a scene where Tom Berenger berates some guy on the phone whom he thinks is playing a prank on him. He bellows, “That you, Tolbert?!” Anyway, the Minnesota Twins now have a guy on the team named Tolbert. This makes me SO HAPPY.
8. We have a large number of giant blackbirds around our house, and I’m wondering how many of them it would take to pick me up and fly me away. Because I’m thinking maybe only 8 or 9, and I saw at least 30 of them in our yard this morning. Should I take precautions?
NO WAY is there a Tolbert! I love Major League SO MUCH.
That insurance thing is frightening and weird. I mean, HOW CAN THEY NOT KNOW if they will cover it? When did they plan on deciding for sure?
Comment by Tessie — April 7, 2008 @ 1:11 pm
I realize that it was springlike here over the weekend, and is now rainy and cold but at least not snowing, so I’m not really in a position to complain. HOWEVER. Word on the street is that it is snowing in Germany AND London. And we are going to both of those places next week. But normally it NEVER snows there. Why us? WHY? Gah.
Comment by Jess — April 7, 2008 @ 1:12 pm
My ex-husband’s wife (they were screwing prior to our divorce and she was his best friend’s wife, just thought I’d throw that in) works for CIGNA. I’d be happy to provide a name and address so you could get right to that mouth-punching thing.
I assume that whenever Tolbert runs onto the field you will be yelling, “That you, Tolbert?!”
Comment by JMC — April 7, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
Dude, CIGNA effing sucks. They are all trying to pre-existing condition me on something. I feel that pain.
Comment by slynnro — April 7, 2008 @ 1:15 pm
Tessie,
Yep, Matt Tolbert. Plus, he is playing well, which is doubly awesome. And CIGNA only told us they were denying Jason’s mouth guard after I requested a predetermination letter when they said they WOULD cover it. Good thing I didn’t take them at their word. Bastards.
Jess,
Snow in Germany and London? In APRIL? No, no, no. (Or Nein, nein, nein.)
Comment by Shauna — April 7, 2008 @ 1:16 pm
JMC, I laughed at your comment about CIGNA. And you’d be correct on that second comment.
Slynnro, does your pre-existing condition have anything to do with your “accidentally getting Nerds in your sinuses” habit?
Comment by Shauna — April 7, 2008 @ 1:18 pm
Black birds are evil. Take cover.
I watched a movie called Jindabyne last night (Laura Linney and Gabriel Byrne… I love them both). It made my tummy hurt – one of those moral dilemma things.
JMC’s comment made me snort coffee out of my nose.
Comment by LoriD — April 7, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
Maybe you can convince the blackbirds to migrate south and take you someplace warmer.
I have CIGNA dental too. I asked EVERYONE for dentist recommendations, and not a single one of the ones they recommended accept CIGNA insurance.
Comment by My Buddy Mimi — April 7, 2008 @ 2:05 pm
i used to feel bad because of all the insurance crap karl was dealing with after he had acl surgery. now i hope they accidentally forgot to charge him like $2k and GUESS WHO DOESN’T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT? bwahahahaaaaa.
Comment by Alice — April 7, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
Not sure which is worse, 30+ blackbirds, or the mammoth geese here in my business park. I feel them staring at me, plotting to peck my eyes out.
It is about 60 here and has been for the past few days, but it is supposed to rain/sleet again over the weekend. Hooray for weather!! (or not)
Comment by Saly — April 7, 2008 @ 3:10 pm
The blackbirds are a sure sign of spring! I’ll take the blackbirds over the geese, even though the geese are cuter. There’s nothing worse than tiptoeing through goose poop! However, watch out for the “poop sacks” when the blackbirds start cleaning out their nests….seriously!
Comment by Becky — April 7, 2008 @ 5:31 pm
Hey Shauna,
Saw your comment on Blacksheeped’s blog… If you click on my name, you’ll be taken to a blog where you can download every song on the Juno soundtrack. If you like it, buy it, or better yet, buy albums from the original artists, Kimya Dawson, the Kinks, Moldy Peaches, et al.
Aren’t music blogs great?
Comment by Juno Soundtrack — April 7, 2008 @ 9:53 pm