Goofy Google searches – part XIII
“Flushing pickles down toilet”
Well, it can’t be any worse than using that stupid 2000 Flushes tablet as far as preventing your toilet from flushing.
“Dustin Diamond butter”
Here’s what happens when you search for one of the things I dislike the most with one of the things I love the most.
“Find puffcorn in Vegas”
What gets eaten in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And seriously, you’re in Vegas, with plenty of entertainment and sights, and you’re concerned about finding PUFFCORN? That’s hardcore.
“House centipedes reviews”
I give these house centipedes FIVE STARS!!! They’re great, especially with their ability to wait until I’m naked and defenseless to make their appearance! Would do business with again! A+++++++!
“Petco phone interview went okay”
Not great, but okay. I like to imagine why it only went okay. “Do you like animals?” “No.” “OK, we’ll let you know.”
“Rabid raccoon army”
We went camping last year and let’s just say the animals in the woods messed with us and leave it at that.
“Childrens in our life”
Right now, no childrens. And if they look anything like these children, it’ll remain that way.
“Smelling flowers and butt pops up”
Such detailed problems these google searchers have, huh?
“Toes are very skilled”
Definitely a quote from Jason. Do you know how weird it is to be folding laundry with him, when something falls out of the dryer onto the floor, and without missing a beat in either his clothes folding or his conversation, he uses his toes to pick up the fallen item and replace it into the laundry basket? Well, it’s very weird.
“July 32nd”
Yes, my plan is gaining momentum! I’ll draw up a petition.
“So I said rectum and you killed him good work”
HA HA!
“Monkey asses”
This was our code word when Jason was quitting smoking. I was also giving up Mt. Dew at the time. We called this code word whenever one of us was being a tool and the other wanted them to back off. Approximate number of times I screeched it like a howler monkey: one billion.
Screech! Fuuny thing about him – he did a show here at the university a few years ago and did a Q&A after. He was more than a little pissed off that people were only asking him about his Screech character. Loser.
Comment by LoriD — March 19, 2008 @ 11:03 am
I’m all for July 32nd. Sign me up!
Comment by My Buddy Mimi — March 19, 2008 @ 11:29 am
I love that you guys had a safe word. And I love what it was. Also, I would totally sign a petition for May 32nd but not July 32nd. Too hot.
Comment by Jess — March 19, 2008 @ 11:39 am
i’m so jealous! 80% of the searches leading to my blog are variations of Alice in Wonderland, not surprisingly. or dressing up like her. or having an Alice themed bday party. or finding A in W porn. LOTS of requests for that one.
Comment by Alice — March 19, 2008 @ 11:40 am
Smelling flowers and butt pops up….ok, I’ll admit that was me……
(ok, not really)
Comment by Saly — March 19, 2008 @ 12:06 pm
I love these posts. I never fail to get a kick out of my Google hits.
Um, I think I know what that Googler with the smelling flowers and butt pops up was looking for and that is SO LAME.
Comment by Tessie — March 19, 2008 @ 12:11 pm
Tessie, TELL US.
Comment by Shauna — March 19, 2008 @ 12:40 pm
Don’t you think it’s one of those yard ornaments? The one that just shows the BUTTS as the people are leaning over the flowerbeds?
GAH. Don’t ASK me how I know that. I blame Texas.
Comment by Tessie — March 19, 2008 @ 12:51 pm
Tessie,
That is TOO FUNNY. I was just walking around the office, pondering what it could be, when I thought of that. And then I thought, “Nah. It’s something more scandalous.”
I hate being wrong.
Comment by Shauna — March 19, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
I think Tessie might be right. I’m sad for her but she might be on to something there. Happy Late Birthday Shauna!
Comment by Emily — March 19, 2008 @ 1:32 pm
HAH!!! I need to look at my search results. Thanks for the laughs!
Comment by Shannon — March 19, 2008 @ 2:43 pm
God I love Google searches.
Comment by slynnro — March 19, 2008 @ 2:52 pm
Craziness. Its more crazy to me that those are actual search terms someone is looking up.
Comment by Penny — March 19, 2008 @ 7:32 pm
OMG, LOVE THESE!
Google searches are the funniest things ever. srsly.
Comment by moo — March 20, 2008 @ 2:22 pm