Props
On Monday, instead of our usual monthly meeting at work, we are all getting handed a $100 Macy’s gift card and getting an hour to go shopping. Upon our return, we are getting a Jimmy John’s boxed lunch to devour at our desk.
I’m not sure what Workplace is up to, but I can’t trust them. Things have been too good lately: I’ve been getting more writing assignments, the I.T. guy said I’m getting a laptop, there’s been those 100-calorie Cheetos snacks available, and the superior I yell at every 3 months not only backed down during another argument yesterday, but complimented me today on my recommendations. It’s stupid that the only way to communicate effectively with him and earn his respect is to tell him he’s a jerk and that he’s wrong, but if that’s what floats his boat, I’m on board. At least I’m sharpening my confrontational skills.
In my rare downtime, I’ve been teaching myself Illustrator and Flash. I could spend a week straight learning these programs and never get bored.
Things I have done today at work:
- Sketched out a concept for a potential client that included flaming piles of dog poo (it makes TOTAL sense, I swear)
- Connected tiny jewelry clasps to large blue agates (again, it makes total sense, trust me)
- Adjusted my strapless bra 37 times
In the “Unrelated” file:
A few days ago, as Jason & I were both walking into the bedroom, he sneezed. And this sneeze was so loud and scared me so violently that it stopped my heart. Jason sneezed, my heart literally stopped beating. It was if Jason was being attacked by a murderer in the middle of nowhere, and he knew his only chance of survival was to make a noise loud enough to alert his neighbor two miles to the north of his perilous situation.
Minimum temperature for our garage door to open by itself without stopping 1/3 way up and forcing me to speedily run over to the middle of the door, stand on the very tip of my toes until I get a cramp, and help the door along: 20 degrees
Approximate temperature this morning: 19 degrees
Amount of times I had to help pull the door up before it finally opened properly: 3
Number of inches I need added to my height: 1
It’s Friday – time for a drink!
I am so jealous of your job. Free Jimmy Johns? Shopping at Macy’s with someone else’s money WHILE YOU SHOULD BE AT WORK? It’s like paradise.
Comment by Jess — February 8, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
Jess, technically it’s during the hour that we would normally spend looking at PowerPoint presentations and sales numbers. Our lunch is supposed to be eaten at our desk once we get back. But I hear ya.
Comment by Shauna — February 8, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
I don’t know what Jimmy Johns is but I WANT SOME. And $100 at Macy’s?! Where do you work?!
Comment by Stephanie — February 8, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
Oh, also, I meant to say this before, but why are you wearing a strapless bra in February!?
Comment by Stephanie — February 8, 2008 @ 1:50 pm
What the hell is your job, and how do I get one just like it?
Comment by JMC — February 8, 2008 @ 1:51 pm
Stephanie,
JJ’s has the best sandwiches I’ve ever had in my life. And I work in downtown Minneapolis for a creative branding agency.
Comment by Shauna — February 8, 2008 @ 1:51 pm
Stephanie, the bra is black and it’s the only one I can wear under my charcoal gray sweater without it showing through and looking ridiculous.
JMC, I’m an editor/writer for a creative agency.
Comment by Shauna — February 8, 2008 @ 1:54 pm
Dude, do you work for Adam Sandler? Flaming dog poo. Seriously. I love how you are all “I’ve got my eye on you, Fokker” about the perks.
Also, cute cat photos but I CAN HAZ CAPTIONZ?
Comment by Tessie — February 8, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
Tessie,
How about “INVISIBLE FRENCH KISS”?
Comment by Shauna — February 8, 2008 @ 1:58 pm
HAHAHA! Eww.
Comment by Tessie — February 8, 2008 @ 2:01 pm
Your job rocks. And there is nothing cuter than sleek cat head with just the tip of the tongue poking out. Perfect!
Comment by Shelly — February 8, 2008 @ 2:01 pm
I love your cat photos – they always make me wish I had cats (our terrier pups would eat them, I swear!)
Frozen garage doors suck!
Comment by Christina — February 8, 2008 @ 2:05 pm
You certainly have good perks with your job!
Comment by LoriD — February 8, 2008 @ 2:09 pm
With all your good workplace mojo going on, you need to buy yourself a lottery ticket.
Comment by Shelly — February 8, 2008 @ 2:33 pm
Very important to keep an eye on those twitchy bosses. You NEVER KNOW what they have up their sleeves.
Also: cats drinking from faucets! Your cats need to be in MENSA they are so smart with their faucet drinking skillz – because Fergus? CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT. He spends the whole time with butt in the air, front feet stationed awkwardly in the sink, head down below the faucet, letting the water DRIP ONTO THE SIDE OF HIS HEAD as he then frantically licks the air, drinking in the drops as they cascade down the side of his face into his mouth. It’s both pathetic and also totally funny. Afterwards, there is a frantic head shake and a huge sneeze to get the water out of his nose.
Comment by whimsy — February 8, 2008 @ 3:13 pm
Hmmm…I think I need to reconsider this non-profit gig…
Comment by Artemisia — February 8, 2008 @ 3:27 pm
Another amazing week of pickles and dimes, dogs and cats. And I agree — it’s time for a drink. Too bad I gave it up. Also, there is an award for you at my place. Have a great weekend.
Comment by PixelPi — February 8, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
It so sounds like they’re fattening you all up for a Thanksgiving day meal. Watch out for the guns.
Or, they’ve realized how invaluable their employees are.
Or, they’ve recently seen a spike in employee disgruntlement and they’re trying to curb the trend.
Watch out for the guns.
Comment by Penny — February 8, 2008 @ 9:43 pm
Yeah, I gotta admit, I’d be pleased but wary of such office developments. Life sucks when you’re a skeptic eh?
Comment by slynnro — February 8, 2008 @ 10:20 pm
All I can say is, only thirty seven times? I have SWORN OFF strapless bras for-evah! It is the opposite of sexy to see me hitching it up from where it gets nestled in my under-boob fat roll…
Comment by Sarah — February 8, 2008 @ 10:46 pm
Please don’t tell my 11-year old about the flaming dog poo. We’ll have to find some.
Comment by Minnesota Matron — February 9, 2008 @ 5:36 pm
Hey, live in the moment, enjoy it. Thank them for it and who knows, maybe it going be a bi-monthly thing or it could be a bi-polar thing. Just make sure there are always two exits off you floor. Just in case.
jean
Comment by jean — February 10, 2008 @ 12:43 am
$100, an hour, and lunch? Are they rigging the workplace while you’re gone?
Comment by Swistle — February 11, 2008 @ 3:24 pm
[...] On my half-day yesterday I finally managed to spend the rest of my gift card to Macy’s. Sounds like such a horrible problem to have, huh? Oh, I have free money to spend and I can’t find anything, wahhhh, these diamond shoes aren’t sparkly enough, but MAN. I was practically begging myself to find something, anything, just so I wouldn’t have to come back. [...]
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