Need a hand?
My family has this prank where we pass along a realistic-looking fake hand to each other. You can read the backstory here.
Anyway, Jason & I received this hand from my brother a few weeks ago. He got us a shredder as a wedding gift, and I was so excited about it I didn’t notice the Sharpie-scrawled note on the box: “Open me for another surprise!” Nestled tightly alongside our new shredder was the hand, appearing like a grisly shredding victim.
The rule is that you have to pass the hand on to another family member within one month. Now that everyone knows we have it, that’s going to be tough. In the meantime, the hand has been sitting creepily on my quilt rack in the spare bedroom. Every time I walk down the hallway and spot it out of the corner of my eye, it gives me pause (pause = prolonged heart stoppage).
A few nights ago, I pulled back the bed covers and, courtesy of Jason, spotted the hand lying casually under my pillow, like an unwelcome seduction ploy.
Last night, after I got home from work, I grabbed the hand and ran downstairs to Jason’s bathroom. Laughing nervously to myself, I surveyed my options: Hang it from the showerhead? Somehow connect it to the toilet lid? Have it surreptitiously peeking from a ceiling tile?
I finally opened Jason’s linen closet and stuck the hand into his toiletry basket. Then I carefully tucked his comb into the hand’s non-bendy fingers. And then I guffawed out loud like a crazy person and sprinted upstairs, leaving breathless giggles in my wake.
This morning, after delaying my electric tooth brushing and blow drying, I was finally rewarded with this:
“DAMMIT!!!”
These remaining two weeks are going to be a blast.

In my family we have “the cabin table” (old crusty end table covered in indoor/outdoor carpet found in my aunt’s lake cabin). I think it was last seen at my sister’s wedding. We planted it in between the bride and groom’s chairs at the reception with a bottle of champagne on it.
I guess Jason is really part of the fam now, eh?
Comment by Tessie — October 25, 2007 @ 11:18 am
This is awesome. I’m so impressed. We don’t have anything like that in my family, but now I think we should.
Comment by Jess — October 25, 2007 @ 11:22 am
We used to do this at work, but we used water-filled latex gloves from the lab instead. Not nearly as grisly though. I think I got rid of it by attaching it to someone’s windshield wiper…
Comment by My Buddy Mimi — October 25, 2007 @ 11:58 am
My brother and I do something similar to this with an ugly, horrible little wooden Christmas ornament of a man on (now broken) skis. It’s really hideous and sort of creepy. We used to hang it from each other’s ceiling fans, place it under pillows, all the normal spots. It’s pretty awesome that even though we now live in different time zones, the Little Ski Man, as I call him, still makes creepy appearances.
I loved this post.
Comment by blacksheeped — October 25, 2007 @ 12:27 pm
LOVE-IT!
All families need something like THE HAND!
Comment by Shannon — October 25, 2007 @ 12:47 pm
I love your description of your breathless, nervous giggles. TOO FUNNY!
This is awesome!
Comment by Artemisia — October 25, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
This is SUCH fun. The worst part is the anticipation, isn’t it? Knowing it’s coming and yet you don’t know when…
Comment by Shelly — October 25, 2007 @ 2:40 pm
OK, so I’m driving down the highway last weekend and move from the left to the centerlane and just about HAVE A HEART ATTACK. peaking out of the bed of a pick up truck was a HAND. Like it was trying to escape.
You guys should do that. It’s both hilarious and really mean.
Comment by stephanie — October 26, 2007 @ 10:30 am
[...] But, I’m still going to use my Mouse Expulsion Revulsion as the reason I totally screamed like a girl when I opened my car door to find the Hand holding the Thing on my front seat. [...]
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