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Please, headache – go away.
I felt you lightly knocking on my temple three days ago and even though I didn’t let you in then, here you are, sitting on my recliner and eating my Cheetos. I’ve tried tempting you with Advil and generic Advil and whatever long-expired pain reliever that’s in the work first-aid kit, but you’re still here, twisting the cables and wires that connect my eyeballs to my brain, so every time I blink it takes a few seconds for my vision to properly adjust.
After freezing all day yesterday, today I feel uncomfortably overheated, to the point that barfing seems a realistic possibility, even though I am doing nothing more strenuous than sitting at my desk.
What will make you leave? I can’t leave work today, and tonight I have a work-related dinner I really want to attend so I can pet the host’s dogs instead of socializing. If I go home, Jason will just make fun of me for being weak and girly.
What if I offered you unsanctioned amounts of ibuprofen coupled with a massive caffeine intake?
Do you want chocolate? I usually don’t eat chocolate, but if that’s what it takes, I will. How about salt? Should I get some chips?
Wait – you’re just a headache, right? Not the precursor to the flu or mad cow disease or a brain tumor – right?
Right?
Hello?

My husband tells me to cut off my head, and lose 20 ugly pounds in the process. Not very helpful, but it makes me laugh.
Comment by My Buddy Mimi — October 25, 2007 @ 4:28 pm
You are too funny, Shauna. I always tell A. to drink lots of water when he gets a headache; I am convinced he is chronically dehydrated.
I hope you feel better soon!
Comment by Artemisia — October 25, 2007 @ 5:05 pm
I have no advice; only sympathy. I usually do the same as you… unsanctioned amounts of ibuprofen and a TON of caffeine. Hope it’s gone by now!
Comment by stephanie — October 26, 2007 @ 10:08 am
I was going to give the water advice too. I’ve had a headache every day this week (I think it’s the weather – changes in barometric pressure) and it’s getting old. I’m in the freezing stage right now.
Hope you feel better!
Comment by LoriD — October 26, 2007 @ 11:54 am
Stress-related? Or illness coming on? Hope it goes away. I hate headaches.
Comment by Penny — October 26, 2007 @ 12:42 pm
Hey–I have a headache too. What the crap?
Comment by Swistle — October 26, 2007 @ 3:15 pm