I’m melllllllltinnnnngggg
There’s really no better way to start a Monday morning than to be greeted by a gigantic, hairy centipede while you’re naked. Seriously. It’s like they just wait for you to let your guard down. And when I say “you,” I mean me.
House centipedes aside, you should come over to our house and buy our 10-in-1 game table, because our garage sale only drew senior citizens and their gaming needs are apparently already being met. I have composed a strongly worded letter blaming the shuffleboard industry for the lack of interest in air hockey among the elderly.
On a wholly unrelated note, our air conditioner at work is on the fritz. It is 90 degrees outside and 114 degrees in my workspace, where I am surrounded by eight gigantic, heat-producing light sources. Also, I have been on hold for 48 minutes with various help desk people, IRS departments and/or wedding vendors.
I despise talking on the phone as it is, but sitting inside my sweatbox of a workstation trying to talk to people about issues such as VPN access, wedding dress alteration costs and effing tax laws…
Well, I’ll take a duel with that creepy centipede any day.
