Pickles & Dimes

Our wedding is about four months away and while most of the stuff is taken care of, I’ve now got to start working on the little details. I’m not stressed out, which is why I’m confused about the wedding-related dreams that have featured the following horrors:

- Sitting in the audience watching my own wedding and not realizing until my bridesmaids have already walked down the aisle that I am neither a) dressed nor b) sporting a hairstyle that is remotely attractive.
- Realizing that I have not written my vows and that my dress is not the one I purchased.
- Being informed that the church is only reserved for 20 minutes. Also: I’m not dressed.

My dream last night featured a running slideshow of every boyfriend from my past, which is weird because I didn’t like them then, so why would I be thinking of them now and besides, Jason is the only one in the world who will indulge my weekly Buffalo Wild Wings excursions and the only one who orders pizza with extra cheese, even Papa Murphy’s pizzas, which are topped with at least 3.5 pounds of the stuff. He is also the one person I will do my Bill Cosby impersonation for and the only person who tolerates my penchant for bacon, my obsession with Marlene Dietrich, and my need to check that the doors are locked 3249873245987 times.

I also dreamt last night about tornadoes – a recurring feature in my dreams – which is so comforting, especially since every dream book I’ve ever read says TORNADOES = GIANT STRESS THAT WILL WIPE OUT CITIES. I’m a little scared to admit that my dream involved not one or two tornadoes, but FIFTY.