May 21, 2007

Survey says

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Pets — Shauna @ 12:22 pm

Hi, we’re with Nocturnal Activities Prevention (NAP), and we’d like to ask you some questions about your pets to help us determine the reasons for their behavior, and also how we can prevent such behavior so you no longer have to consider selling your pets at the next garage sale.

1. How many hours of sleep per night do your pets allow you to have?
a. 8+
b. 6-7
c. 4-5
d. 3 or less
e. Zombies don’t need sleep

2. In what manner do your pets wake you?
a. Incessant whining/pawing at blanket
b. Armpit licking
c. Claw from back paw into ear canal
d. Demanding to be let into unrealistic space; e.g., refrigerator
e. Sitting directly on bladder

3. What would make your pets stop waking you?
a. Seventy kilos of catnip/Beggin’ strips
b. Straitjackets
c. Water mister/air horn
d. Rabid wolf sentinels
e. My death

4. What behavior is saving your pets from the garage sale “Free” bin?
a. Giving great head butts
b. Ability to make own ham sandwiches
c. Excellent Billy Idol impersonation
d. Routinely sporting Hitler moustache after digging into dusty crevices for bugs
e. Sleeping up to 20 hours per day, allowing for RETALIATION

2 Comments

  1. 1. a
    2. e
    3. a
    4. a

    I guess I lucked out here – Max is pretty good about letting me sleep, usually. She will only wake me up if she wants food or if something’s wrong. She likes to wake me up by not sitting on my bladder, but by walking back and fourth over it repeatedly.

    Comment by Susan — May 21, 2007 @ 1:31 pm

  2. Ooh, you’re lucky! Abby and Sunny tag-team us: one will whine while the other falls victim to the laws of gravity and topples off the headboard onto our heads.

    They’re getting really bad lately; even the diffuser isn’t working anymore.

    Comment by Shauna — May 21, 2007 @ 2:15 pm

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