Pickles & Dimes

More weird searches that led people to this site…

“Vomit minute maid/minute maid lemonade cans expiration”

I can safely attest that I have been drinking lemonade and store-brand orange soda that’s two years past its expiration date and I’ve yet to suffer. That’s what happens when you live with an individual who is fulfilling some weird stockboy fantasy – you never reach the old stuff in the back.

“Sonic locations in Minnesota”

Just hold on – I’m working on it. I’ve got to use my powers for good, you know. Besides, I’ve got the perfect location picked out: right where the Cracker Barrel used to be three blocks away. If all goes to plan, I will have all of my favorite restaurants encircling my house by the end of 2009.

“Buying cheesy tots/cheesy tots/burger king cheesy tots”

God, there’s really nothing better than hot cheesy tots. Unless that stupid king can stop being stupid long enough to figure out a way to fill them with bacon.

“Golden valley jolly troll/jolly troll restaurant mn”

I pray that Golden Valley brings back the Jolly Troll restaurant. If they can’t find room for it, I know a perfect place … right next to Sonic.

“Cats nighttime whining”

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m too busy lapsing into a sleep-deprived coma from dealing with constant cat nighttime caterwauling, cat nighttime blanket kneading, cat nighttime battle-losing to gravity, and cat nighttime window blinds rattling to concern myself with such trivial matters.

“Coin-eating vending machines”

I don’t know about anyone else, but I take it personally when a vending machine steals my money. I’ll be all la-dee-da, here’s some silver coinage in exchange for some tasty, cheddar-flavored corn snacks in the shape of musical instruments and BLAMMO! Denied. And then I think, how dare YOU, snack machine. How dare you. And then there might be kicking and glaring involved. And possibly, bad words.