Pickles & Dimes

My latest CD purchases prompted Shauna to suggest a weird band name post. The rules are simple: they must be in my collection (we can’t count her Flock of Doug CD). Actually, that’s the only rule. We both went through my collection and combined our lists, although most of the names were the same. I’ll post the other half later this week.

So, without further ado:

Armchair Buddha
They’re a band I saw open up for Dazy Head Mazy once. I was impressed enough (drunk enough) to buy their CD. I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been played once.

Asphalt Ballet
Love the name. I looked at the CD and have no idea what prompted me to buy it. Must have been the slaughtered pig on the cover.

The Bitches of the Century
Andy Dick’s band. ‘Nuff said.

Bowling for Soup
I passed over this one the first time through. I had to remind myself that just because they have sold millions of records, they can still make the list. One of my favorite names ever.

Butthole Surfers
This was another one I missed the first time as well. I’m so accustomed to the name and having their stuff on my CD shelf. Plus, they’ve been around for over 20 years.

C.W.A. (Cheeseheads With Attitude)
Mock band from Stevie Rachelle of the late 80s band Tuff. They take tunes like “YMCA,” “Turning Japanese” and “Talk Dirty to Me” and change the lyrics to sing about the Green Bay Packers. I hate the Pack, but their CD is pretty funny.

Dazy Head Mazy
They are my favorite band, so they’ll make any list that I have on our site. It doesn’t hurt that their name comes from a Dr. Seuss book.

Deadeye Dick
Not much to say about these guys. This hasn’t been in my CD player since “New Age Girl” was popular in college over 10 years ago.

Howard’s Hair
They were a small college band out of Mankato, MN. Named after a guitar tech at the local music store. Great Gear Daddies’ cover of “Color of her Eyes.”

Husker Du
Any band named after a board game can make the list. It also gives me a reason to link back to a post of Shauna’s.

Imperial Drag
Their song “Boy or a Girl” was huge at strip clubs while I was in college. Not that I’d know.

Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
They are a GREAT punk rock cover band. Their covers range from John Denver, The Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin, Prince and Garth Brooks. I suggest buying all of their CDs.

This morning, Jason watched as Comcast came out to fix our defective Internet modem, which the technician said would eventually have fried itself since they had connected the wrong cord into it, which was quite comforting for us to hear, especially since our biggest collective fear is fire and we routinely have a variation of this conversation every night:

Me: Did you turn the oven off?

Jason: Maybe I did and maybe I didn’t.

Me (trying not to cave into my OCD tendencies): Well, I’m not checking. I always check.

Jason (wanting to check but trying to make ME check): Well, I’m not checking, because I’m mostly sure I shut it off.

{long pause}

Both of us (as we get out of bed to check): Dammit.

Anyway, Jason called me at work to inform me of 1) the working status of our Internet and 2) how close we almost came to experiencing our biggest nightmare and I asked him if he had gotten a chance to catch up on his Internet reading.

He said, “Nope. I just got started. There’s a lot of stuff I haven’t readed yet.”

I didn’t say anything, but mentally I was laughing maniacally.

After a long pause, he sheepishly said, “I need human interaction! Or else the next time I go into an interview I’m just going to sit there and yell, ‘NRRRRGGGGGH!’”

A long, long time ago, Jason and I ate lunch at a Burger King, which I had previously boycotted because I do not trust that stupid king mascot and his creepy unmoving face and unnerving penchant for sneaking up on people.

But then BK came out with their chicken fries and buffalo sauce and well, all was forgiven – for awhile.

On that visit a long, long time ago, Burger King had this: cheesy tots. Tots filled with gooey, melted cheddar cheese.

About a week later, to satiate our intense cheesy tot craving, we returned to Burger King around dinnertime. Where we were coldly informed that the cheesy tots were now only served for breakfast.

I blamed the king – vehemently.

A few weeks after that, we got up early for the sole purpose of ingesting cheesy tots for breakfast.

At the counter, the cashier told us that they didn’t offer cheesy tots anymore.

Effing king.

I held out hope that they would return, because they were so delicious and what was the point of only offering something so delicious for such a short period of time and what was the deal with that stupid king skulking around people’s neighborhoods when he wasn’t being digitally inserted into sports footage anyway?

This weekend, Jason and I stopped at a tiny little Burger King for lunch. As we were waiting in line, a placard caught my attention.

There, in big bold letters and accompanied by a chorus of angels, were the words:

“NEW! Cheesy tots! Available ALL DAY.”

You are so lucky, Burger King.

You too, mascot.

A week ago, it was 81 degrees. It was glorious. I ran home, threw on a pair of shorts, took a long walk with Jason, removed my rose cones and reveled in the fact that everyone was smiling again.

Today it is 15 degrees. Fifteen. Yesterday it was 17. I re-covered my roses, but the wind – the awful, soul-stealing wind – ripped one of the cones off and blew it all the way to the other end of the yard, where I found it on its side being eyeballed by a shivering rabbit.

I can take the cold, especially in January. But I cannot take it in April, especially when it roars in on its motorcycle and has The Wind sitting in the sidecar. The wind that sucks out your innards and sandblasts them onto the nearest building. The wind that whips your hair into your eyes, pushes your car all over the highway, and makes you curse using phrases involving our Savior and Ritz snack products.