Pickles & Dimes

Last weekend I decided it was time to go through our DVD collection and thin the herd. I counted 211 DVDs and with Shauna’s help, was going to take a long, hard look at all of them and only keep the ones that we REALLY needed, or ones that had a chance of being watched multiple times. After a half-hour of soul searching, we were able to part with 19 DVDs. We not only got rid of ones that we wouldn’t be watching again, but ones that had never been viewed – or opened for that matter. Did I really need a 3-disc set of “Blind Date” episodes? No. Did I really need my “Girls Gone Wild” DVD anymore? Maybe. But under the watchful eye of my fiance, I decided to part with it.

The 192 DVDs that are left don’t include the multiple disc sets, like every season available of “Seinfeld,” “King of Queens,” “Scrubs” and “NewsRadio.” Along with the entire series of “Friends” and Shauna’s favorite: “X-Files.” We will, slowly, watch all of those. Of all the movies I kept, some may not be viewed again (“Drawing Flies” and “Vulgar”) but I bought them, so I’m keeping them. Plus, I’m proud of myself for being able to part with 19 of them.

Do I go through my 700 CDs next? Ha, ha, ha… NEVER!!

Must be extremely neat and display willingness to clean up after freakishly large nitrogen-producing roommates. Ability to acclimate to temperatures ranging from 68-75 degrees with higher-than-normal pH levels (that landlord is unable to lower properly) is required. Must inhabit either “the skull” or a small corner in the back of the dwelling. Prefer someone who does not mind sharing food or getting whacked across the head with various body parts. Must also not mind landlords dropping by unexpectedly to comment on your bowel habits. Interested parties, please see attached photo.

This past weekend Shauna and I went to TwinsFest. TwinsFest is an annual event held at the Metrodome, where you can meet current and former players, pay for their autographs and buy game-used memorabilia and all kinds of sports trinkets under one roof. Every vendor seems to have an obscene amount of bobblehead dolls, as in the past years I have come home with an autographed “Circle me Bert” Blyleven bobblehead, a Jenna Jameson bobblehead and an addition to our “army” of Jacque Jones bobbleheads (we now have three). Shauna was more interested in a 3-foot bobblehead of Joe Mauer that retailed for $350. Needless to say, we didn’t come home with that new addition.

There are also Q&A booths with some of the players, batting practice for the kids and clubhouse tours. The one thing we were interested in this year was Dodge Ball. No, not the kind you see Ben Stiller playing with his handlebar mustache. It’s where you stand at the edge of the upper deck and try to throw 3 wiffle balls into the bed of a Dodge truck. During the season they do this between innings during the game, where the winner gets their name entered into a drawing to win a year-long lease for that truck at the end of the season. This weekend they were giving away coupons for a pair of tickts for a buck. That’s right, ONE DOLLAR! Who nestled one into the truck bed? Me. Shauna came close, but did not go home with the tickets. I did. I may even bring her to the game.

TwinsFest weekend is also the first chance to buy tickets to Twins regular season games. Tickets went on sale to the general public at 5:30 on Friday, which was the same time they opened the doors to the Dome. Shauna and I got there around 5:00 and stared at the lines with no less than 1000 people in them. If we waited in that line, then waited in the line to buy tickets inside, we never would have gotten tickets to the home opener. We were lucky enough to find out that they were opening one ticket window outside of the Dome selling game tickets. We got down there and were fifth in line.

When they opened the window, the first woman in line pulls out a shopping list of games she was going to purchase tickets for. Each request was more belligerent than the last. “What do you mean section 115, row 2, seats 4, 5, 6 and 7 aren’t available?! How ’bout seats 8, 9, 10 and 11?” After ten minutes of her demanding requests we found out she’s a Red Sox fan. That spells it out for me. The next two women in line get a pair of tickets for three games apiece. Very business-like; in and out in a few minutes. Only one guy in line in front of us and of course he’s an assclown too. “You realize I’m buying tickets for children and adults, don’t you? What is the cut off for youth tickets? 10 years old? What if my son is 11? I think that’s close enough, don’t you?” No, NO, NO!!! She said 10 years old, now get the hell out of my line.

We were able to get tickets for opening day and the season finale. Although by the time we got to the ticket window, the lower deck was sold out. That’s OK though, we’ll be there, and that’s all that counts.

Fun time; now we just have to patiently wait for the season to start. Did you know it’s ONLY 64 days away? Yeah, I did.

Johnny Cash’s video for “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”

I absolutely love how awesome Sharon Stone looks in this video. The only change I would make is to replace Chris Martin with George Clooney – STAT. And maybe not show such a close-up of Keith Richards’ craggy visage. (Oops, there I go with my armchair directing again.)

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The dance scene at the end of “Hitch” (not-so-great quality, but Eva Mendes’ moves totally make up for it)

I have very seriously told Jason that I would like to do this type of dancing at our wedding reception because 1) I think it would be an absolute blast and 2) I cannot dance at ALL and this would be the perfect way to hide that fact. So I am planning on enlisting the DJ’s help to make this happen as well as getting prior declarations of cooperation from rowdy family members. Jason thinks I’m joking, but the joke will be on him because I’m totally set on doing that robot dance, man.