Pickles & Dimes

Dear Static Electricity,

I do not understand what I have done to offend you. I cannot recall slapping your face with a leather glove, or disparaging your Mother, or mocking the size of your booty, so your seemingly unnecessary rage against me is frightening. The extra-voltage jolt from the running water in the bathroom seemed especially uncalled for. Perhaps we can arrange a truce?

Sincerely,

Me

P.S. When do you think I can expect to regain the feeling in my right hand?