Pickles & Dimes

I’ve been staring at a project that features the word “cookie” a thousmillion times.

As a result, I’ve lost the ability to discern whether or not this word is spelled correctly.

Cookie. Cooky. Cookee. Cookey. Cookie?

It looks funny to me now. Cookie.

It reminds me of “kooky.”

And I can’t help but use Cookie Monster’s voice every time I see it.

Help.

Saturday night on the way to see Brian Regan, Shauna was going to treat us to dinner. After much debate (picking a restaurant is never a easy task in our household) we decided to visit the local Olive Garden. We got dressed for the show, and proceeded to drive the four blocks to our destination. Breadsticks and Chicken Alfredo were in our near future. One problem: THEY WERE CLOSED! Not closed for the night or the weekend. Not closed temporarily to have the health inspector visit. Closed permanently.

After the initial shock, we regrouped and chose another eating establishment: the Cracker Barrel down the street. The same sinking feeling occurred when we noticed the parking lot empty. THEY WERE CLOSED! How could this be? We’ve visited that Olive Garden at least twice in the 2+ years we’ve been in the area, and that Cracker Barrel once.

We’ve got to pay more attention to the little details around our neighborhood. Maybe the chains across the parking lot entrance should have been a tip-off. At least we’re keeping our Buffalo Wild Wings in business.

Universe: Hey, how would you like a really dry – painfully dry – throat to celebrate the beginning of your weekend?

Shauna: No, that’s OK. I’m good.

Universe: One dry, moisture-resistant throat coming right up.

Shauna: No, I said I-

Universe: Hey dude, how would you like to have horrible side pain?

Jason: What? No! Actually, I had that a week ago and it sucked.

Universe: Too bad. Here you go.

Jason: Ow!

Universe: Hey, how would you like to be eliminated from your football pool because your team got beat by a last-second field goal?

Shauna: Oh, come on!

Universe: Yeah, it won’t just be a regular chip shot field goal, but a 62-yarder, just one yard short of tying the NFL record. Nice, eh?

Shauna: ARGHH!

Universe: Oh, while I’m at it, how about you guys go without heat this weekend?

Shauna: NO. No, no, no.

Jason: Yeah, we’re kinda fans of the heat. Especially when the temperature outside is 32 degrees and I, even with my abundance of body-warming testosterone, find the effects of warm air soothing.

Universe: Yeah, well, still. No heat for you. Also, they won’t be able to send someone out to look at the furnace until Sunday. When the repair rate is $40 more than Monday’s rate.

Shauna and Jason: Crap.

Universe: Enjoy your weekend!

(We did enjoy our weekend anyway, thanks to the comedic genius of Jim Colliton and Brian Regan.)

P.S. Thanks for nothing, Philadelphia Eagles! Losers.

This was the original artwork that came with our original theme from www.vanillamist.com. We both really liked it, but it didn’t have anything to do with the name Pickles & Dimes.