Letters - Vol. 9
Dear Sonic® and Dave & Buster’s®,
I see advertisements for your places of business all the time. You appear to both be eating establishments. I wish to dine with you. I especially would like to take advantage of Sonic’s Vanilla Slush®. Or perhaps the tempting Sonic® Bacon Cheeseburger. No, no - a Coney! With bacon, chili and cheese! YES! That is what I will order - for here, please. I want to experience the dine-in atmosphere.
And you, Dave & Buster’s, I would enjoy very much the opportunity to indulge in some noshing and imbibing and game-playing. You have billiards. And shuffleboard!!! Do you know how awesome it would be to play shuffleboard while eating your Jack Daniels® BBQ ribs?
But I cannot do so. Do you know why?
Because neither of you are ANYWHERE NEAR MY FREAKING GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION.
Why do you advertise on my local channels? Do you think I am going to drive 223 miles to Sonic or 398 miles to Dave & Buster’s, spending $3.09 per gallon for the sole purpose of visiting your establishments and peeing in your toilets?
No, I am not.
I am going to dine at Buffalo Wild Wings® instead. They have 18 locations in Minnesota alone.
Jerks.
Sincerely,
Me
