Manic Monday
I am just incredulous that today still exists, in its slow-as-molasses manner, despite my repeated requests that it just hurry the hell up and be OVER WITH. I mean, really. How many times can I punch Today in the head before it finally gets the message that, you know, you’re not welcome here? Move Along.
Obviously, I have been Majestically Unproductive™ today, which annoyed me because my workload was surprisingly light, and instead of working on the minor projects that have resided on my to-do list for weeks, I instead stared vacantly and unmotivatedly at said projects, and wiled away the time (which, again: how effing slowly must you PASS?) by performing the following Google searches:
- “2006 writing contests”
- “circular needles join tutorial” (also: “circular knitting joining HOW???” And “circular needles joining previous video UNHELPFUL!!!”)
- “Buffalo Wild Wings recipes”
- “Bad contacts permanent eye damage”
- “Minnesota Twins possibility picking good player”
***
Even though fantasy football is over for me (Jason won and I placed third), we’ve decided to bet some money, just the two of us, and pick our own teams for the playoffs. I realized that in order to get the players I wanted, I would have to take, oh you know…Mark Brunell. My arch enemy. The guy who does wonderfully right up until the second I add him to my team. Then he either injures himself on the first play of the game or else performs as though he is arthritic and blind.
Here’s what happened. The Redskins won the game, but Brunell only threw for only 43 yards. For the entire game. That is not far. At all. People, that has to be some kind of record. For poor performance while still winning.
To put this in perspective, Jason’s quarterback was Carson Palmer, who was injured on the first passing play of the game. And yet he scored more points, because that single pass of his was for 66 yards. Let me reiterate: Carson Palmer threw for over 20 yards more, ON ONE THROW, than Mark Brunell threw FOR THE ENTIRE GAME. Luckily for me, despite his lack of offensive prowess, his team somehow managed to win, so I can look forward to maybe getting some more points from him this week. You know, when he throws for a scorching 12 yards.
I think I am going to blackmail Brunell and write him a ransom note saying that in order to get his passing ability back, he will need to send me one million dollars. Yes.
***
This weekend was a culinary achievement as I made homemade french toast and also homemade buffalo wings (not for the same meal, but wouldn’t THAT be something?). So while my whole not-drinking-Coke thing is going along GREAT, the whole eating good foods is non-existent. But the portions were small. And I’ve exercised 6 days so far this year. And Coke Zero doesn’t taste like Coke, much to my bitter, bitter disappointment. So bitter. Bitter and caffeine free.
So, to recap this disjointed entry, today=slow; me=unmotivated; Mark Brunell=retarded; circular knitting needles=HUH?; french toast+buffalo wings=AWESOME.
Happy Monday. Now, get out and don’t come back until you’re Tuesday.
