This entry encapsulates TWO YEARS
The snow last week? It would’ve been pretty if it had been lightly caressing my cheek instead of smacking me in the face. It was less “snowy butterfly kisses” and more “big messy French kiss,” like a meteorological f-you from a drunk and sloppy Mother Nature.
As an added bonus, I attempted to blow some of the snow with our new snowblower as a surprise to Jason when he came home from work. After professionally starting it up on the first try, I managed to blow a solitary, somewhat straight line (if looking at it with one eye closed while drunk) before the snowblower died a dramatic death from suffocation due to the tightly packed snow in its mechanical esophagus.
Despite clearing the snow, it refused to start again. Well, great. That left shoveling and the requisite whining that goes with it, because shoveling wet heavy snow? Really sucks. It’s like trying to shovel up a pile of dead bodies. If the bodies are wet and attached to cinder blocks. And shellacked to the pavement.
After 20 heart attack-inducing minutes of shoveling, Jason came home and fixed the snowblower, so I could finish the driveway the way nature intended. With a machine.
