File under “C” for crazy
This weekend was one of those highly productive weekends you have because you feel slightly guilty for not going to a relative’s wedding, so you vow to do every household chore possible to atone for it.
So Jason and I filed all of our piles of random paperwork, which was threatening to overtake our home with a thousand post-it notes of mine with half-scribbled pearls of novel-ry (a word I just completely made up) wisdom, and hundreds of old receipts that Jason has deemed Important, even though 100% of the receipts are for such non-reimbursable items as Gas Purchased in 2003 and Magazines About Metal Music purchased in 1999.
During The Great File Purge & Merge, we found a very peculiar, frustrating, and inexplicable habit of Jason’s: the man writes down phone numbers, without any discerning attributes as to WHO the number belongs to, WHY he would need to call them, or WHAT reason he would need to hold onto these scraps of paper for years. I found four pieces of paper, all with no other information on them other than phone numbers penned in Jason’s own hand. After the fourth number, I decided to get to the bottom of the mystery.
“Is this important?” I asked, as Jason was sorting through old paystubs from that time he worked at the liquor store in, you know, 1997.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. It appears to be the digits for an unknown person who you didn’t bother calling, because by the time you found the phone number, you didn’t know who to ask for, seeing as how you didn’t even write down their NAME.”
“Huh. Yeah…that’s garbage.”
“How about the other three pieces of paper with random phone numbers on them?”
“Um…garbage too…I guess.”
So as we were joking at his all-too-efficient filing system (”Do you need this receipt for a pack of gum you purchased, with CASH, from 2001?”) and penchant for collecting random female phone numbers, Jason found yet another piece of paper with a phone number on it. Only this time, it had a name to go with that number.
That name happened to be Mike.
I bet poor Mike waited by the phone for WEEKS.
