Valleyfair was wonderful. We went on a Thursday, which apparently, is “NO LINE” day. None. At all. We got there early, hit the waterpark and then survived the 95 degree heat by wandering around in water-soaked clothing for the rest of the day. Our automatic response when one of us said they were hot? Flume.
(For those who don’t know, the Flume is a ride where you sit in a fake “log” and ride down a waterway which culminates in a giant freefall into a reservoir of water. As the sign says, “You WILL get wet.”)
Our conversation verbatim from the hours of noon until 4:00:
“I’m hot.”
“Flume!”
Later:
“I’m starting to get ho-”
“FLUME!”
Repeat. Many times. Aaaahhh.
We also got a caricature done of ourselves. Big mistake. Big. Huge. We had gotten one done a few years ago, and were apparently spoiled by the result, because that rendering made us look all cute and perky, like characters on a WB show.
This time? Yes, not so much. Try less WB and more “the kind of people you would move away from on the bus, even if that meant you had to sit next to the guy wearing a frying pan for a hat.”
People, I realize it is a caricature, but there is something seriously wrong with it. It…creeps me out. Jason looks like he has a bowling pin for a head, which is fine in and of itself, but then his mouth is grinning this slightly goofy, and seriously demented, grin. And me. Well, let’s just say that I appear to be somewhat mentally unstable in this depiction and also, I now have a complex about the space between my eyeballs, because according to the picture, there ISN’T one. Like the artist couldn’t go for the obvious feature to exaggerate – my nose. Duh.
Anyway, if you see Jason and I coming down the street, just shield your child’s eyes from Pin Head and Uni-Eye.
