Pickles & Dimes

Abby and I have developed this highly elaborate game, which combines the childhood games of Hide & Seek and Tag, with a vicious attack scene reminiscent of Alien. It goes something like this: Abby runs up to me with that crazy, “I’m frisky! Look at my dilated pupils and bushy tail” look in her eye.

Then she taps me on the leg with her dainty, furry paw and bolts for her scratching post. This is my cue to sneak up on her, tap her on the side and run like hell into the bedroom, laughing like a drunken hyena the whole time. Because her expressions are just so hilarious to me.

When you “tag” her, she gets all indignant and pissed off. She also hates if you pant like a dog. I’m not sure how I figured that out, but it’s funny nonetheless. Never mind the fact that I look like a complete moron sitting on my bed, panting like an overweight sheepdog and laughing under my breath, nervously waiting for her to find me. She’s so stealthy that she usually sneaks up behind me without me noticing.

At that point, she is so pissy that she lunges at me and bites my ankle, which results in me shrieking in fright and dissolving into giggles, while she makes her elephant-thumping dash back to her scratching post, which she kicks viciously with her back legs like a rabid kangaroo. Meanwhile, Jason sits on the couch and rolls his eyes, pretending not to know us. Good times.