Last night after working out, we had tacos for dinner. While waiting for Jason to finish showering, I sampled a little bit of the taco meat. And then the cheese. And the lettuce. And the olives. And even the taco sauce. All of a sudden, I felt my upper lip tingling. Severely. So I ran and asked Jason, “Is there something on my lip?”
He said, “No,” followed immediately by, “Wait! Now there’s a white dot on it.” Two seconds later when I looked in the mirror, I could actually witness my lip swelling. When I talked, it felt like I had huge Angelina Jolie lips. (Not as attractive as you might think.)
Jason asked, “What did you eat?” I told him, “Let’s start with what I didn’t eat, ha ha! Anyway, dude, if I go into anaphylactic shock, here’s what I ate: Taco meat, cheese, lettuce, black olives, a dash of taco sauce and also a swallow of water. I’m thinking maybe I nibbled on a piece of lettuce before I washed it and that I’m allergic to something they sprayed it with. Because that’s the only variable from the last time we had tacos.”
He looked at me like I was nuts and said, “What’s anaphylactic shock?”
Comments Off
I had the flu yesterday. I felt it coming on Monday, but foolishly thought that by taking DayQuil proactively, I could ward it off. What I didn’t realize is that DayQuil is the antithesis of NyQuil and by taking it, I would doom myself to a night of severe insomnia, resulting in very odd one-sided conversations between myself and Jason:
Me: I am SO not sleepy right now.
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: The numbers on this alarm clock don’t move very fast.
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: I bet this is the most awake I’ve ever been!
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: If I won the lottery, I’d pay off all my debt and then move to a tropical island.
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: You know who’s supposed to be attractive but really isn’t? That dark-haired chick from CSI:NY. Not the curly-haired dark chick, because she’s cool, but the other dark-haired chick.
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: I’m thirsty. We should have a mini-fridge in our bedroom. That would be sweet.
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Me: Did I say how NOT tired I am?
Jason: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Anyway, I’m feeling better. It wasn’t the worst flu I’ve ever had; more like its redneck cousin, who acts all menacing, but you know a good kick in the shins will put it in its place.
Comments Off
I think I’ve discovered where my early morning grouchiness comes from. Yesterday, my mother told me a previously undisclosed story about how she was so grouchy as a child in the mornings that her mother would lay out a trail of raisins on the kitchen table. My mom would groggily work her way down the line, munching on the raisins while gradually waking up and when she had finished the last raisin, that was the family’s cue that she was awake enough to have a conversation without biting anyone’s head off.
I think I need a trail of raisins to eat in the morning.
Comments Off
