Traffic Elimination Center® – Vol. 1
Today is going to be an extra slow day at work (I hope), so I will unveil the first lesson from the hallowed Traffic Elimination Center’s® archives.
Illustration 1: This is the intersection right by my place (drawn to scale). As you can see, there are three lanes of traffic. Car A can only turn left; Car B can either continue on straight or turn left, and Car C can only go straight. For the sake of this exercise, assume that I am Car B, because I know what I’m doing. Both Car A and Car B will be turning left.
Illustration 2: This is how the whole scenario should play itself out. Car A should turn left and stay in the left-hand lane. If Car A wishes to get into the other lane after turning, it should wait to do so until it has determined that there are no other cars in that lane. It should also signal its intent to merge and check its mirrors and blind spot before doing so. Car B should make sure to turn into the right-hand lane, as it was on the outside lane before the turn. Car C should go straight as the lane arrow dictates, and be thankful that it is not part of the next illustration.
Illustration 3: This is what happens 90% of the time. Car C gets to continue on unmolested, while Car A immediately cuts off Car B, not signaling that it is going to swerve right into Car B’s lane without a second thought. Car A also doesn’t check its mirrors for Car B. Car B has to slam on its brakes and execute the universal signal for “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU ARE AN ASSHELMET.” Car A is usually so oblivious that they don’t even realize what they have done, either because 1) they are on their cell phone or 2) they are indeed, an asshelmet.
Lesson of the Day: Don’t be an asshelmet.
