Quit Smoking – Post #6
I may have overreacted yesterday, maybe stretched the truth even. Actually everything is going just fine. I’m surprised that I feel as good as I do about this. It’s funny too, I thought I’d be chewing quite a few pieces of gum. The instructions said 12 pieces is about right, but not to go over 24. Alright, I can handle that.
Day 1: 7 pieces
Day 2: 5 pieces
Day 3: 4 pieces
Day 4: 4 pieces
At this rate I’ll be a non-smoker in a week and a half. The instructions gave a 2-month breakdown on how to wean yourself off the gum. Well, I’m already in the final stage. Like I said, I can’t get too cocky though. Nicotine has been a big part of my life for a long time. I know I still have some tough days ahead of me too. This weekend I have a wedding up in Alexandria. I know after dinner at the reception I’ll want one, maybe need one. But, that’s what the gum is for. Since the wedding is up in Alex, Shauna and I will be staying at her parents. I know I’ll need one up there too. Better not forget my gum.
Oh yeah, Wednesday I threw out my fallback pack of cigarettes. Not bad, now I have no choice but not to smoke. I like that.
I still have yet to really want a cigarette, but the mood swings is part of the process I can deal without. If it keeps up, I’m a smoker again. Over the past few days, I’ll get angry or sad and depressed for no reason; it’s weird. Shauna likens it to PMS. That is a condition that I have given her a hard time for since I’ve known her. I have always thought the whole thing is an excuse for being moody, just a crock. If PMS is anything like this (and it’s probably worse, they have to deal with it once a month for the better part of their life) I now feel for women. Just don’t tell anyone I said that.
Yesterday was the worst as far as the mood swings go. I can’t really even call them “swings,” considering I’ve only been down. Yesterday it was so bad, as soon as Shauna got home I jumped on her for something stupid. It doesn’t matter what it is, I don’t even think I remember. I yelled for a while, and cried for a while. The funny thing is Shauna is the one person who really knows I’m quitting at this point, so she’s the only one that’s behind me. She’s really there for me. But I keep claiming that she isn’t. Don’t know why. I feel bad because I’m taking out all my crappy feelings on her. She’s a trooper. She told me this is temporary, which I believe, because I am feeling better this morning. I just hope she believes it too, and sticks it out. I’m a jackass when I want to be.
I don’t think I’ll be writing every day. Maybe for the first week to see how it goes. After that I just want to track my progress and pitfalls. I’ll let everyone know how the first weekend goes, and if I can get through the first week. I know you’re all concerned about how I do. Wait, who are you? Why are you reading this?
