Say that the designers of women’s jeans simply make the back pockets for fashion purposes, and not for wallets. Say that the wallet that you love and cherish happens to be a leather men’s wallet with everything you will ever need and 40 gift cards. Say you pee a violent, morning-post-two-cups-of-coffee, pee in the workplace bathroom. Then say that when you stand up, the magic of pulling up the pants combined with the wallet normally jutting a half an inch above the pocket causes the wallet to fall directly into your disturbingly coffee-smelling urine.

This has happened not once, but three times. Think about that the next time someone gives you cash.