Hypothetical question, hotshot
Say you had a favorite pen. Say it wrote really, really smoothly and felt like pure heaven in your hand. Say you were carrying it around with a stack of papers when you stopped to visit the restroom. Say you put the stack of papers and the pen on the back of the toilet, because the floor was filthy and the counter by the sink was soaking wet. Now say you’re in the middle of peeing, when the stack of papers hits you squarely in the back, scaring the bejesus out of you. Now say you finish what you’re doing and don’t see your pen anywhere. Then say you see your pen in the toilet bowl. [dennis hopper voice] What do you do, hotshot? [/dennis hopper voice]
Keep in mind this is all purely hypothetical, of course.
Well, how about this for a hypothetical:
Say that the designers of women’s jeans simply make the back pockets for fashion purposes, and not for wallets. Say that the wallet that you love and cherish happens to be a leather men’s wallet with everything you will ever need and 40 gift cards. Say you pee a violent, morning-post-two-cups-of-coffee, pee in the workplace bathroom. Then say that when you stand up, the magic of pulling up the pants combined with the wallet normally jutting a half an inch above the pocket causes the wallet to fall directly into your disturbingly coffee-smelling urine.
This has happened not once, but three times. Think about that the next time someone gives you cash.
Comment by Parkingathome — April 3, 2008 @ 9:00 am